Thanks for all the input.
Vent # 1 Cigarettes were my best friend for over 20 years. They were there through the good and bad and never judged me or told me off. They were my worst enemy for over 20 years. They constantly wanted me to buy more, smoke more, spend more. I don't believe the crap that the "studies" say about the toxicity of cigarettes. I still haven't seen the upside of quitting other than spending more money on my bills, that I can't afford anyway. There are just as many toxins in medications that doctors push on us, exhaust from cars, country air, blah, blah, blah. Again these so-called studies that are others points of views are being pushed on everyone. I did not want to quit, I had to quit, I am not healthier for, as I previously pointed out, my health, mentally and physically has gotten worse since I quit, so for everyone out there who believes these studies, think again before pushing those views on others. People live longer now because of technology and ingesting all sorts of crap, 100 years ago and more, we lived much shorter lives and most diseases were unheard of and I believe these people had the right of it.
Vent #2 Apparently, I am healed, my psychologist has said that I do not need to see her any more. She advised me that my GP will take me off the antidepressants when she feels it is time for me to come off of them. My psychologist suggested family counselling for me and my husband and then (event though she knows my thoughts on group therapy, group this and group that) suggested group therapy. Well, I guess if the experts say I don't need therapy, then who am I to object to this, after all it is not my life they are messing with. Oh yeah, it is. Well I guess I will deal how I have been dealing over the past how many years and keep posting on this site and reading other posts and, and, and.
Vent #3 My blood pressure is no longer high (good, bad, I don't know). It is very low, normally my top number without med's is 220 - 280 over 120 - 140 (not related to smoking, alcohol or food so don't go there). With med's 120 over 70, now without meds 90 over 70. So my GP doesn't know what to think and I am in a holding pattern to see if it is just a cold, ear infection, one of my meds, pulling this one, substituting that one without unbalancing the antiarhythmic medications (so at least the heart stays beating.
Done, fell better? No, but what the heck.