Hello everyone,
Well today was the day. I went into my meeting with the Therapist to find out where I might fit. I was hopeful, optimistic and open to suggestion. She still made me feel I should know about their programs and what would fit for me. So we went through the list and the ones that are more supportive are groups during the day 3 times a week, so none of these would work for me as I would miss too much work. The last option which is what the Psychiatrist wanted me to go into is 18 weeks every evening 5 - 9 group therapy, really intense and strict. So I said let's go for it, I am open to try anything at this point. So she made the referral and then she told me that it wasn't for sure that I would have to meet with some of the people running the group (classroom because there are 20 + people in it) and they would decide if I could go in. So now I get to stress about being good enough for complete strangers in order to get help. I am breathing. I will keep breathing.
I told the Therapist about the Support Network and she was pretty irked that I had gone there. I told her what we did and that I needed the ego boost after being beaten up on Friday. She still doesn't think it was that bad, and, I said to me it was, it was very unfair and cruel. I told her the lady at the Support Group was really nice and worked with me to get past the crisis I was currently experiencing so that I could think more clearly. She told me that I would not be permitted to partake in any other therapy while I was under their umbrella, so when I see the Support Group lady on Monday, I will have to tell her that.
I am not going to be negative, I am going to be positive and believe that some aspect of the therapy will be supportive. I do not like the idea of being video taped and then having everyone watch it to criticize me (my thoughts). Then she said there was an exercise component right now they do breathing and volleyball, breathing yes, volleyball yay (I am being sarcastic, I never did understand sports, except playing football and watching hockey and curling (I would like to try curling someday).
So I spoke with my mom and she said she would meet with the Therapist. Then it turned back to her problems (never fails) her life has to be more important than anyone elses.
Well gonna go, before I start down the alley that won't help anyone.
Love you guys.