Thanks Hors, I have been exploring more . When I paint the anxiety and worrying chatter in my head seems to get quiet . I posted about self care just because its something I have issues with . I am used to taking care of others but never myself and also struggle with self hate and am working on that . baby steps . That was me drinking and looking at the screen or doing other things but never took care of myself or my place or anything . I put up some paintings the other day and now feel good about it love looking at the wall . makes the place feel less of just a place and more of a home if that makes sense . I know we are all different . just something I struggle with . ever since I came back though I feel good , love all the support here , the posts , the resources . its great .