Hello all, I am a newbie but thought I would try and get some of this **** off my chest. For most of my life I have put on a different mask for different situations, but I can no longer do that. I have realized that I suffered from emotional neglect during my childhood. I spent my life wondering what I did to make my parents not love me. Today I still wonder why. I have extremely low self esteem and really hate myself. I have been in therapy and taking medication for over 1 year, and things don't seem to be improving. Since I have been a little girl I always wished for death. Because of my religious upbringing, suicide is a definite no-no. But now my thoughts have turned back to just wanting to die. I hate feeling this way, but don't know how to escape it. My therapist is trying to help me rule out those negative thoughts, but my mind keeps resisting. It keeps telling me how stupid, fat, ugly I am. Is there any hope for me? If this is going to be my path in life, I would rather be dead. Suggestions anyone?
Kitty
