Hi Jenna, Sometimes there are all kinds of factors that condition our lives and affect our moods that aren't really "mental." We tend to think its all in our heads because that's how we experience it, but sometimes there are issues of agency, autonomy, freedom to choose our own paths. For example, on evenings when you are down, doesn't it seem that you want another kind of night or a new day to escape to? I think we can sometimes change things in our lives that will make us feel better and happier. If you ever want to talk about it, email me at pitcher_8@excite.com. Tim

I am feeling so hopeless. Someone who I considered a fairly good new friend and connected with really well and I'm now recently told me he considered me shy and a little uncomfortable around him. I used to be very shy, but the past few years I've changed and I no longer would have even described myself that way. Now I feel like I have been imagining my progress and perhaps everyone still considers me as shy. I'm just so tired of trying hard in life and the world paying me back with a slap in the face. Any time I do feel happy anymore it vanishes within a couple hours, and I don't want to live life if this is how it'll be forever. I've been thinking about death a lot lately, even though I'd never kill myself.

I think one of the hardest parts of battling depression is dealing with the constant negative thinking. One thing that has worked for me in the past is so simple--just to turn the radio on. Music has a way of taking you away from your thoughts for a while. I work at home and the silence can be a real enemy. If I can distract myself, even finding myself singing along, I can put the negativity aside for a while.

Hi Jenna, I wish you luck seeing your new counselor. I hope your counselor is able to provide you with some relief. There are so many little tricks that my psychologist has mentioned to me. Some of the junk in the self help books are helpful too, but most of them are so patronizing I can't take it. All of them help a little, but none are a cure. The thing about all these tricks is that they are so simple, and they could not possibly solve or make me forget about my problems. One thing about these tricks is that it's embarrassing to think that I have to go through so much to accomplish the smallest things. I just have to remind myself constantly that I'll be able to accomplish larger things only if I can accomplish the small things first. I think part of the cure, for me, will involve physical action. All these tricks are about doing something physical to change how I think. The key thing about the rubber band trick is the physical action of snapping the rubber band. Tony Robbins is one of those self help gurus who's all about using physical body movement in conjunction with certain thoughts in order to enact change in your thought patterns. Some of the other good stuff from my psychologist: Set aside 30 minutes or an hour of your day where you can sit and worry about stuff. Whenever you start worrying, just remind yourself that you will put off worrying about it until 8:00 p.m. or whatever. Here's an extreme trick I invented myself when I know I absolutely *have* to get out of bed. Breath all the air out of your body. Promise yourself you won't breathe in again until you are out of your bed: 1) its easy to start this trick because I don't have to move any muscles to start this process (except my breathing muscles, which, surprisingly, seem to keep moving no matter how zombied out I am). 2) it forces you to move other parts of your body, because it is impossible to hold your breath for a long period of time before breathing. It breaks the physical paralysis of depression. 3) once you are out of bed and take that first breath, you are acutely aware of your breathing... now is a good time to continue focusing on your breathing, since deep breathing exercises also have healing powers. If you get this far, congratulate yourself.

Anne-Marie, I belong to kaiser and I've seen a counseler for a few months but didn't seem to help. Now I'm making an appointment switching to a new and I'm going to be tested for depression and evaluated for medication. My sister recently went on it, and I was having suicidal thoughts last night I think it's time for me to consider it as well. Hobbes, Thanks for the advice about the rubber band tool. I am so frusturated because I'm aware every time I'm thinking something negative and irrational, but it's almost impossible for me to stop. I often feel so weak since I am unable to ignore these thoughts. I'm glad those techniques have helped you, which gives me more hope that I'll find a system to work for me as well. I wish you luck and hope you will overcome this soon. How old are you?

Hi, I have been depressed for 3 years now. There are so many things I've learned in the past 3 years, but nonetheless I am still depressed and looking for a solution or cure. One of the things I've learned is how difficult it is to "think positive". Just the act of trying to think positive increases my pain. There are some definite things I've done to deal with negative thoughts however. There are many, many phrases in my head that I tend to repeat over and over: "my life is over", "i just don't care anymore", etc., etc. One trick suggested by my psychologist, which sounds so stupid and childish but it works for me, is to realize one by one what each of those negative phrases or thoughts are. Wear a rubber band on your wrist. Then, once you hear yourself say that thought, snap the rubber band on your wrist, or if you don't have a rubber band, just slap yourself on the wrist. The point is to stop a particular negative thought by making a connection with the real physical pain of having the rubberband snap when the thought enters your mind. This simple action really helped me RECOGNIZE and be keenly aware of those thoughts as they enter my mind. I still have those thoughts, but I am able to stop their EFFECT of the thoughts making me even more depressed. This is just one thing that seems to help me. There are lots of little mental tools I have to help me deal with depression. Nonetheless, I walk around most of the day simply feeling this constant, undefined pain in my heart, on my face. Often, every bone in my body and every thought is just numb. The meds have some positive effect, but are nothing close to a cure. If anyone has any ideas that can help to eliminate this undefined pain in my everyday actions, please respond.

Hi, Jenna. Welcome. OUr site offers a free depression test you can take, print out and bring to your doctor's. At eighteen, things from high school may linger, until you move on to other things. It's great that you have some things, but at the risk of sounding like 300 years old, you are still young in terms of life experience. Do you have career plans? If you read through the posts in the forum on negative thoughts, don't hesitate to post there. we'll help you as much as we can.

I'm 18 and have been on and off depressed since I was 13. For the past year, I've almost driven myself crazy with negative, irrational thoughts. I finally have some of the things that used to make me depressed not to have in the high school years: a boyfriend, I feel attractive, I'm doing well in school and have a new job. I now realize that all these things still don't make me happy, since everyday I'm constantly plagued with negative thoughts. I constantly have feelings of jealousy, resentment towards people who've done me wrong, hopelessness, anger, etc. Even when I feel good, I'll see something that will remind me of those thoughts and people once again. I literally cannot think about good things in my life, and I feel trapped in a mind obsessing over every little bad thing that has happened to me. I have tried self-help books, counseling, and spirituality, but here I am tonight feeling just as bad as always. I feel like giving up and don't know what is left to do. :( please help