Hey John,

The AA meetings for me are good because they are a reminder for me of how things can go wrong, and how bad they can get.

I too have alot of things I have done while drinking that I'm not proud of - things I would never dream of doing if I were sober. I think everyone who has had a problem with drinking has done things like that in their past.

When I have a challenge of any kind, I try to remind myself of this: "This issue would be way worse if I were drinking."

Thanks. Your posts are keeping me on track as well!

Have a good day. Talk later

Gus

Gus,

Yes, I don’t miss the day after effects. I was also messed up in my head during the time that I was drinking even if I wasn’t drinking on that day. I can’t explain it really, I just have a clearer head. A break is good and I try not to think ahead of today but for me, drinking is not something I can consider going back to. I have gone back to it too many times, not intentionally, and each time the results were worse than before. I haven’t been completely open here but I have tried many different ways of drinking. Things have happened that I’m not proud of. That’s not who I am. I’m a football dad that works hard. I want my girls and my wife to be proud of me. I want to be proud of who I am again. I thought about drinking last evening, just a small one. Things were heated at home with one of my girls but I did what you said , think about what happens when I start to drink. I usually don’t stop. I also thought about my wife dealing with our daughter alone. Not fair to her if I try to fix my stress with a bottle. I’m a parent too. I’m going to listen to the YouTube guy again today and do an AA meeting too. I have a new sponsor I can call if I find myself at the doorstep of buying again. Signing off but I’ll be back again. Thanks and good luck to you every day!

John

Hey John,

6 days in is fantastic! Every day we don't drink is a day we aren't hungover and miserable, having to deal with the fallout of drinking.

For the MS youtube videos, they are working on our subconscious. The more we listen to these, the more they work. I try and listen at least 3 times a week when Im going to sleep. It seems like they have helped me with cravings and how to react to them.

I'm in my comfort zone now, and I want to stay like this for AT LEAST 6 months, maybe longer? Who knows? Maybe this will be longer? Maybe it will be permanent? Ill deal with that when the 6 months start to draw near. Im just happy I didn't drink last night and that Im not dealing with the fallout today.

Have a great week John and everyone. I'm looking forward to hearing more updates as we go along.

Gus

Lynn,

Thanks. I want to be a non drinker. A certain day won’t do it for me, trust me I’ve tried that. I’m back with a sponsor now. He understands me and doesn’t take my excuses. There’s no need to recount the details but something happened and for the first time, I was sober to see it and I allowed myself to see it. I witnessed the fear in my girls. Fear that their dad would drink and perhaps die from it. Not far fetched at all. I have come close to death several times. By God’s protection, I am still here and still have my wife and girls. Years ( maybe months ago too) ago, I would look at others and think I wasn’t as bad an alcoholic as they were because I hadn’t been arrested yet. My yard stick is different now. I look at many men around me that I admire and I want to be more like them. Booze will not win again. I have too much to lose.

Gus,

Congratulations on two weeks sober. You sound a lot like me. Too much to lose to let booze win. I’m 6 days and I’m never letting it in again. This isn’t my first time to the rodeo. I’ll be following your progress. Thanks for the ideas on what to say to friends. My friends that know never offer me drinks or situations that might challenge me. My circle is smaller now but that’s a good thing. I’m all in this time around. I listened to the ms on YouTube. Maybe it’s helping. I do feel like it’s a little easier this time.

John

Gus,

Two weeks down. Nice job. I know exactly what you mean about the line in the sand. I drew a similar line. After the first few weeks, knowing that I wasn't going to drink for 3 months took away the pressure. After the suggested 3 months, I made the decision to not drink again. It was easier to know that I wasn't going to drink than to worry about drinking.

johnontheslopes,

As you have seen, you will get support here. You asked our suggestion about being faced with a drink. I would suggest you be very honest with yourself about what you want. If you don't want to drink until a certain day, then hold to that. Gus gave several "excuses" to get you out of a bind. Have a response ready so you are not caught off guard. In my experience, when you say your not interested in a drink, people move on. However, people can pick up on a lack of confidence in what you say. If you say no, but don't really mean it, they may continue to pressure you.

I hope things are going well for both of you. Good luck!

Lynn

Hey everyone,

I am two weeks into my 26 week break today. I feel better physically, and so much better mentally. For me, once I crossed the line in the sand that I was taking a break from drinking, all the pressure went away. Its like a load lifted off my shoulders. I don't have to worry about drinking and all the bad things that occur when I drink.

Have a great day!

Gus

Yes, many dont realize the depth of the issue. Many try to resolve the problem on their own. The main thing is misconception of the situation they are in. We believe we can control our drinking. But some have gone too far into the woods.

The book highlights 3 different kinds of drinkers. Normal, heavy and then the alcoholics. The heavy drinkers can recover on their own. But the alcoholics, because of the untreated alcoholism, will always go back to booze after a period of abstinence. The stories of the man of thirty, the car salesman and the accountant stories in the chapter More about alcoholism are there to illustrate this theory.

In my own drinking career, I could see several periods of abstinence. But they were never pleasant. I didn't know then that it was un-treated alcoholism. That condition always took me back to the first drink. It could be a day or week or months. But it always did. Eventually after entering the fellowship and reading the book it all made sense. But the realization whether we are hard drinkers or alcoholic has to be done by our own self. We cant go by what others say. That realization will help us take the right course of action.

Hey John,

Regarding friends; you don't owe everyone you know an explanation on why you don't drink. When I stopped drinking the first time, I always made sure I was DD if we went to an event. if someone offered, I could easily say "No thanks, Im driving." I also said "No thanks, Im on a diet." "No thanks, I have an early day tomorrow." "No thanks, Im watching my blood sugar levels." Whatever worked. I think we need to have responses ready when offered a drink. Don't get caught off guard by not have a response prepared. Thats my opinion anyway.

A week into my first time quitting, I had to attend a birthday party with alot of my friends, and they were all drinking. I told everyone I was DD. I was worried about how it would go. Honestly, I had a great time. Shortly after that, I had to attend a big family wedding. Everyone was drinking. I was DD and drop home a bunch of drunks at 4AM. And I had a great time. Those two events gave me a big boost of confidence.

The longer I got away from it, the better I felt. Our confidence slow builds, the longer we move away from the last drink.

Have a great weekend!

Gus

Thanks for your reply Fox and Gus. I’ve never done hypnosis but at this point, I’ll try anything that will help. Fox, yes, I was a member of aa for a while. It didn’t work for me for the long term but I do realize part of that is because I really wanted to drink.I feel like I have a clearer head now, perhaps because I almost lost my marriage and the respect of my daughters and a few close friends, but in any case, I am thankful. I’m thankful for the friends that put me first and my family first, over their need to have their buddy drink with them. Some friends and family have not done this. They’re not all to blame , I know this. They ask me to join them because they don’t really know the depth of the problems my drinking has caused. They probably think I’m like them, but I’m not. All I know now is that I cannot make everyone happy . They will find others to drink with and I need to put my health and the happiness of my girls first. They deserve that. I won’t take that first drink. I won’t.

Hey John,

If I have a thought on thinking about drinking, I now want to go immediately to thinking about the bad things that have occurred when I drink. My friend who is quit now 2 years uses this as a strategy, and it works very well for him. The Michael Sealey Youtube video called Overcoming Problem Drinking uses this strategy as well. Maybe this strategy could be one of the tools you use? We need to have 2 or 3 tools in our "toolbox" to use when we start having those thoughts.