Thanks Peace and all of you. The last thing I feel like is a winner. I feel bad that I am sucking energy, but I so need it. My husband is having a really hard time understanding why I am feeling this way, and not understanding it myself doesn't help me explain it. He is trying really hard, it has to be difficult for him, he is craving too, but manages without any meds. I just want to use whatever I can to get through. I have messed up my quits before during this depression stage and I don't want it to happen again. The last time they gave me some anti depressants I stopped taking them without weening off and went into this seratonin rage thing. I couldn't get out of bed for almost 5 days. It really scarred me, so taking these anti depressants scares me again, but I won't be doing that same mistake.
I just want to laugh again, smile and have some good moments. It is just funny that it crept up on me this late in the game. I read the posts about the stages, so it kinda makes sense, but you think we will ever enjoy anything the same again? All I ever do is just make it through so I can climb on the couch with my son and watch a movie. Its the only time I feel ok. I think the TV distracts my mind and I forget about how my body feels, and I go to sleep. Then I wake up the next morning with anxiety already there about the day I will have to fight through. I am so glad you are all here for me. My mom supports me no matter what, but shes a never smoker. My friends here that support me either quit over 30 years ago and have forgotten, or are never smokers. I hope this medicine works, I really am a fun, loveable person who is usually helping others. This is different for me, being so needy.
Thanks for listening. I love you all....
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]12/6/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 119
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,570
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $446.25
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 9 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 50 [B]Seconds:[/B] 15