Simon, I think realizing your own condition is the best thing. Ive been seeing a therapist and a Psychiatrist for 6 months for depression but I think Ive realized I have more anxiety issues than depression (thanks to the Panic Test site). Im actually a very motivated person and outgoing. I plan to address these issues with my Therapist tonight and address to my Shrink very soon. My day starts worrying about my wifes depression and I cant stop thinking until I sleep. I create thoughts in my mind and create more anxiety as a result. Ive been this way my whole life. I do believe the correct treatment can help or acknowledging you have this disorder and identify how to overcome those thoughts. good luck

Hi Simon, I feel your fear. I too suffer from panic disorder and agoraphobia with obsesive compulsive stuff in between. I just went home from work one day ,closed the curtains and finished my relationship with the world. I shut myself off from everything and everyone, including my friends and family. You know what? It felt so good that no one could "GET" to me. I was very much "In hiding." I still am. I take paxil, I think it helps me to "Not care" about life. I really needed that. I was a very controlling person in private, I cared too much, if there is such a thing! In public I act like a dumb blonde so that people won't bother with me. But I really am a very smart person. I do not go outside unless I have to. I do not open my front or back door, nor stand by a window if there is a person outside on the street. In case someone is watching me. This ism how stupid this disorder can be, I am afraid someone will see me with greasy hair, or see me in my regular clothes (I dress in office clothing for work), I never want to actually talk to anyone, visitors , never! I hide in my roomif soemone rings the doorbell. I have just recently started to get outside more but go to stores out of my community, so I don't run into anyone I know. I walk at night sometimes , the world seems to be nicer and less threatnening when everyone is in bed. The only advice I could offer you, it helps me, is when you get an idea to do something, do it right away. Sometimes i feel I need fresh air but can't go out because there are people. I find if i wait until later the feeling goes away and that could keep me inside for another month. When I do have to be with people (holidays are hard) I always say the stupidest things because i think i have to make conversations. I play the stories I'll be talling over and over until I need to use them as ice breakers. So in fact, when I tell someone how my daughter just got a new car, i've actually spent hours and days making the story long and interesting. I also think about every possible question people might ask me, and have prepared answers for them. A very mentally tiring job. I even do this to prepare for my doctors appointment so he won't think i'm faking. I am not trying to get into a free clinic that offers psychothera

Hi Angela, Thanks for your response. Yes, I am new here and found this site after roaming the internet for support groups as I am not able to go to support groups right now. I see my family doctor often (at times weekly) and have had many blood tests to try and balance my chemical imbalance. I am trying to stay focused but must admit I'm not sure what I should be focusing on. Right now my biggest conquest is merely getting out of bed and sometimes even getting dressed each day. The doctor continues to change or add to my meds but imiprimane seems to be the only med that actually keeps my mind from scattering everywhere. I have been told this is a life long thing with myself and that I need to work on getting better. The problem is I feel that I have gone forward for 3 or 4 years, but now I am back where I started from 20 years ago. Thank you for the info on this site. I will slowly get through all of this site but must admit I am computer illiterate and have slowly been learning the pc can actually be of benefit to myself, ie finding this site. Thank you, Netty

Netty I see that you responded to Simon's post, are you new here? If so, you have come to the right place! Please feel free to roam the site at your own pace. If you look to the left of the screen under "TOOLS" you will find our Depression Test. This test is not a diagnostic tool and is not a replacement or substitute for a physician's advice. The purpose of these tests is to prepare you with information that you can present to your physician. When you're finished the test, you can either print your Final Report or email it directly to your doctor. If you have any question or concerns with our site or please contact Support Department at support@depressioncenter.net. We are open to any questions or concerns you may have. Christmas can be a difficult time of year for people suffering from depression, try to stay focussed on what is important to you for the season, stay close to the site and post as often as you need too. Have you seen your family doctor? Looking forward to hearing from you soon! Angela ___________________________ The Depression Support Team Edited on 12/7/2004 @ 10:32:34 AM by The Support Team

Hi Simon and everyone else, I have suffered with depression and anxiety for 20 or more years. I have tried many different meds as well as many meds mixed, along with therapy. I understand what you are going through and know that with meds and therapy you have a great chance of breaking through and getting the relief you need! Good Luck Simon! I would like to ask if anyone is feeling more overwhelmed and depressed with Christmas coming near. I personally have no contact with any of my family members due to the drug and alchol use that is prevalent with them. I do have a husband who is going through his own ordeal after shattering his knee and learning to negotiate with his one leg as much as possible. I have 3 children, 19 year old daughter with Smith-Maginnis Syndrome, 18 year old son who works full-time, and a 15 year old son who is in high school and works part-time, all live at home with me. I was injured at work back in May and since then my depression has kept me locked in the house at all times. I've done no xmas baking, which I absolutely love to do, and not one stitch of shopping. How are others coping with this season and does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do. I have tried to get back into therapy but was refused b/c I could not agree to see my previous therapist as we did not connect and I can not afford to pay for therapy as I have no benefits from work.??? Thanks, Netty

hi again simon. i see you mentioned that your doctors are testing you for a thyroid disorder. that was one of the first things my doctor checked and i was found to be hypothyroid. i have been on medication now for almost two years with several adjustments having to be made along the way. initially, when my thyroid levels were normal, i felt better emotionally. i am certainly not in a position to say for sure but i have been told that depression is frequently seen in people with thyroid problems. sometimes the thyroid replacement will take care of the problem but in my case, it didn't. i am hoping though that with the medication and therapy, i can get my life back on track. i think it is possible and i am working so hard to keep the negative thoughts and anxiety from taking over. hopefully you will soon get your life back on track also and be the person you once were.

hi merry 58 thanxs for your reply ,feel a little better knowing there are people out there who know how im feeling inside, ill hang in there cheers simon.

hi sandee thanks for your concern its nice to know im not alone, i just feel so scared inside.as for doctors they are checking my thyroide they think it could be over or under active might have something to do with it .ill hang in there cheers simon.

hello simon. i understand exactly what you are going through. up until about 5 months ago, i thought i had my life together and then it seemed to all fall apart. i started having panic attacks and significant anxiety as well as depression. i have a very good friend who is a psychiatrist and have worked in the medical field so i was somewhat aware of what was happening. i initially tried to convince myself that i could make everything better on my own but how wrong i was. i made the call to my mental health clinic and it was the best thing i could have done. i am now on medication and am also receiving psychotherapy. i still have my good days and bad days and i keep hoping that the good days soon start to outnumber the bad days. i continue to have some enxiety and an occasional panic attack but overall, i am doing better so please don't give up hope. the therapy is the hardest part but even that gets easier. i hope things start looking up for you. my thoughts are with you.

:)Hi Simon You sound like you're having a very bad time.I hope the doctors that are treating you will help.Is this the first bout of depression you have had? I've had depression, anxiety, panic and a few other things for a very long time.I hope the doctors will look for a physical cause as well as the medication. Sometimes hormones can change and cause similar symptoms. I am a real believer in medication for this problem and I see a social worker at the local mental health clinic. I know it's very hard to be feeling the way you do but hold on there is hope. Be patient, sometimes the meds take a while to help. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. sandee