A relationship which was strained was mended, as I slipped into a small "panic cycle". Wouldn't it be great if the cycle was like a washer's switch, with an "off" switch
As you said, fears and behaviors can be learned through re-inforcement of the association between the feared stimulus and the imagined or real consequences it brings about. If this is the case for you, the key would then lie in breaking the association, which in cognitive behavioral therapy is often done through graduated exposure therapy.
How could you take steps to gradually expose yourself to your fear (perhaps, in a controlled environment at first)?
Would you describe how a situation or person creates fear in me, so that as I avoid the situation or person continually, that re-enforced group of behaviours spirals to the point of unbearable fear? It appears almost like I don't have a place to hide, with a sense of desparation