I've been thinking up new things lately that cause me even more anxiety than before and new symptoms. I have the "heart attacks" out of the blue more often. I've started worrying that I've done something horribly wrong ie.kill someone.I am always getting a really strong pang of guilt like I did something really horribly bad. I am afraid I killed someone kind of fear. I even have visions of a dead person! Does anyone ever feel that way? I never feel like my abuse was bad enough, so I don't feel like I deserve to be wounded by it and people act like I'm wounded and use that as an excuse for why I feel things about their behavior. I see other peoples bad behavior and feel guilty for it like I did it and like I need to go repent or something. It's driving me insane. Does thinking I'm going to go insane prevent me from going insane? I've thought that a lot of times,and here I am and since it hasn't happened, at least as far as being institutionalized I haven't gone insane, as far as anyone knows, I'm afraid if they saw my drawings,knew how I think,or what I do to myself they would think otherwise. What's wrong with me? I would just rather die than keep feeling this way. I go to bed and can't sleep and start thinking up visions that make me shake and try not to cry.. :gasp:
