UPDATE: I called the family, I let them know I will no longer be drinking , and its real , and I dont want to be pressured and would love support and they understand and are supporting me . so I feel like a weiht is lifted off my back.
so I'm sure its noticeable I drink, feel guilt shame, embarrassment and swear I'm done. over and over again . I am going to try to break the cycle . the first step is to talk to my family , let them know when I come up I am not drinking , I dont want to for am my reasons and that I wont be so not to ask me to have one . I know I have said it before but I am so sick and tired of feeling like this the next day . yesterday I was so sick I Vomited . I never vomit when hung over that show much I drank . the shame today is rough but hey its also teaching me and showing me . so today I will me making that call . and I actually feel good about it I am not scared at all.
