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Powerlessness

for 8 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1562

Yeah, Its all the individuals awakening. The realization should come within. Thats why we don't force recovery on someone. We just share this is where people go if they don't wake up. And this is what we did to take the obsession away.

for 8 år siden 0 +0 / -0 54

Just one of many possible trains of thought on this subject...

I sometimes wonder whether those of us who are by nature more tightly wound, high strung, intense (nervous?) sorts experience a greater (and therefore more addicting) sense of relief from alcohol. It's as though alcohol might be no more addicting than, say, coffee to some people but as addictive as heroin to others... I'm sure there is no one size fits all explanation, however I tend to think this could be a factor in our subconscious sometimes driving us to drink when we had reasoned not to.

This possible connection leads me to ask myself the question "am I going to succumb to that craving for opiate-like relief or am I going to deal with the underlying stress in other ways, eg: keep busy, exercise, identify and tackle the real problem(s) stressing me head-on...". Of course some problems are not easy to solve or cannot be solved in the short term. eg: "I just got out of jail, where does my life go from here." Which puts our tightly wound, high-strung, intense person in more of a bind in terms of where to turn for relief...

for 8 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1562

There was a guy at the Sober Living gig, its a 1/2 house talking about how, when he was in the jail he was all safe and wanting to be sober but the moment he came out, he went straight into the bar. He was asking why does it happen? This is his 4th trip in as many years to the Jails and institution, yet he says, he can't understand why he would do this. He was embarrassed.

We read this paragraph out of the book:

The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.

For him, he just walked out of the slammer, yet, he couldn't think about the consequences. All he focused was that temporary relief he would get by taking couple of drinks. But then, we can't have just a couple.

for 8 år siden 0 +0 / -0 154

Good afternoon,

I will stop posting on "Powerlessness" and another recent one on "True Forgiveness." I will, however, be active on the forum entitled "Black-outs," at least there is some humor to be had.

Continue with your comments/posts which do not include God or the need of our Heavenly Father or a Higher Power as regards our alcoholism. I, for one, would not be alive today if it were not for Him. If my suicide attempt wouldn't have done it, my alcoholism would surely have. I thank Him and express my gratitude to Him each and every moment of every day for His miraculous grace and mercy and love as regards the two things I have just mentioned, not to mention thousands of others over my 61 years.

for 8 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1562

I believe the debate over whether abusing alcohol (or it abusing us) is a disease or a maladaptive behavior will rage on.

Yes, the book talks about 3 kinds of drinkers. A normal one, a Hard drinker and then the Real alcoholic. Now what it doesn't do is pronounce someone as alcoholic. Its upto the individuals to read the information and come to a conclusion for themselves. They share the experience of people. People are advised to read and see if they can relate to what is said and see if they can identify with the struggle and see how those people staged a miraculous recovery. Bill W was a prime example of a chronic drinker. Made about 3 trips to the hospital. Almost written off. Then he saw something in his friend work and he stages a recovery and tries to help other people. In essence thats the gist of AA fellowship and program.

for 8 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1562

TS,

This character is narrating the story. These words "I had no intention of drinking" are his own. There is no planning I get out of that statement. Moreover, he had already lost the dealership he once owned. And he is living on thin ice when it comes to his family. Yet he drank. The point the book is trying to make is, some have reached a threshold where, that they will hit this blind spot where they couldn't bring into consciousness the suffering and humiliation of even a week or month ago. They easily succumb to this desire. You have a point. We are searching for the "effect". And again the doctors opinion talks about it. Men and Women drink because of the 'effect produced by alcohol'.

The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity.

Thats the vicious cycle some of us get into. Thats why so many go back after a week, month or even years (like the man in 30 in the book) go back out. Because of the Effect. The consequences vaguely come into memory. But its easily set aside to experience the effect.

The other story they put the accountant. After a period of (i don't know how many days) he goes to washington. And as a great day. But suddenly get the idea he just going to have a couple. Nothing more. Did you plan on getting trashed NO. Always starts with a couple thats the twist.

Then the story goes, he goes on and on....his wife was to pick him at the hospital, instead a cabie drives him around for the week.

Again these are his words:

I now remembered what my alcoholic friends had told me, how they prophesied that if I had an alcoholic mind, the time and place would come I would drink again. They had said that though I did raise a defense, it would one day give way before some trivial reason for having a drink. Well, just that did happen and more, for what I had learned of alcoholism did not occur to me at all. I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self- knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots. I had never been able to understand people who said that a problem had them hopelessly defeated. I knew then. It was the crushing blow.

for 8 år siden 0 +0 / -0 345

Hi Colin,

Thanks for the link. I believe the debate over whether abusing alcohol (or it abusing us) is a disease or a maladaptive behavior will rage on. Yes, alcohol changes the brain as does virtually everything since the brain is "plastic" (neuroplasticity). I still maintain that drinking is a choice, a planned activity and anyone can conquer the addiction if they want to bad enough. The trick is convincing yourself that it really isn't all that enjoyable. Most of us put a lot of effort into getting value for expenditure. So if you look at the true value you get out of getting wasted, is it truly worth the expenditure? I know in my case that the actual euphoria I experience is very brief. That is what I try to think about before considering that first drink. Does it really have any lasting value.

for 8 år siden 0 +0 / -0 345

"Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I were to put an ounce of whiskey in my milk it couldn't hurt me on a full stomach. I ordered a whiskey and poured it into the milk."

There was no peculiar mental twist. Rather than redirecting his thoughts, he followed through and ordered the whiskey. That's where the plan evolved. The first drink would have little impact so he continued on to the second, again part of the plan to get wasted. His "plan" was to get wasted as soon as he ordered that first drink despite his denial. We all know what our goal is when we have that first drink. I personally don't even like the taste of alcohol of any kind. However, I do enjoy the effects of it apparently far too much. No mystery, just seeking the dopamine effect, the reward.

for 8 år siden 0 +0 / -0 154

Good morning to all my fellow alcoholics, addicts, and just plain good old people seeking peace, joy and love in their lives,

I wrote a book which is in the process of being produced by my publisher located in Victoria B.C. The book has one major goal and theme. That goal/theme is to help people have a daily, nitty-gritty, right relationship with our Heavenly Father.

I totally get it with the word "God," because of all that we have been erroneously taught by the religious church systems of this world, and many of their puppeteers (not all are, some are beautiful people with hearts in the right place who sincerely love people). Also, their and our interpretation and perception of God's (our Heavenly Father's) nature is completely out of whack. I say this having been both within the system and outside of it for over 25 years now.

Here are two scriptures taken from the Old and New Testaments of the Bible, which I would ask that those who read this post to mediate upon.

BTW, I also completely understand and can personally relate to why people have difficulties with the Bible itself, seeing that it was written by men/women, under the guidance of God's Holy Spirit. The Bible is by no means an exhaustive authoritative source of all that God is. Just look at the billions of galaxies, each with their own billions of stars, and tell me that one book (i.e. the Bible) is all that our Heavenly Father has to write or say to us. It would take the whole world for Him to convey what He would have to share with us all, but suffice it to say, He has purposely condensed a lot of what we need to know about Him in this book. Jesus Christ, His Son, was not a man of many words, but when He spoke, He spoke with authority and words which hit dead center in people's hearts, and these words reached His intended purpose and goal for that person or group of people. Here are the two scriptures I wish to share:

“Do we not all have one Father? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our ancestors by being unfaithful to one another?” (Old Testament, Book of Malachi, Chapter 2, verse 10, New International Version of the Bible)

“And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and He is in heaven.” (New Testament, Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 23, verse 9, New International Version of the Bible)

for 8 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1562

we need to work with God in ensuring,

My experience in todays world, is the moment we mentioned the word God, like Eckhart talks about it the book Power of Now, people get immediately defensive.

I like the words used by Eckhart- Presence, Awareness, Being, Mindfulness, Consciousness. And the key word you used is WORK. Implies, I have a part in it. People look at the word GOD in the book and think we are depending on some external power to save us. If it was, we wouldn't have had a book. Just a leaflet asking God to fix us.

But we have 164 pages + the doctors opinion of experience and direction on how to get sober. If you see the wording of this sentence:

Almost none of us liked the self- searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation.

For a successful consummation, he straightaway talks about looking inside, cleaning up. Dropping the fear, resentments, relationship issues. Then he says we will be rocketed into the 4th dimension of living. You build great relationships with others. Be of maximum use to others.

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