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for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 345

Hello Again,

Accolades well deserved Dave, you give so much to this sight. Just wanted to respond about the feeling of well being both you and squashed mentioned. I too actually feel happy. Today at work people were quite down after yet another significant snow fall. Admittedly we've had a worse winter than normal but it's not that bad. I remember after moving up north complaining bitterly to my mother about the never ending snow there. She responded by asking me if I had enough to eat and whether I was warm. Talk about putting things into perspective.(not that I want to go back)

So no, the weather isn't bothering me, it's beautiful. I find myself smiling a lot more than I have in years. Activities that I considered a thing of the past are suddenly engaging me again. Maybe it comes with self love. I certainly didn't love myself when I was drinking but I'm liking myself a whole lot more now.

Strength in numbers!

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi TS,

Funny how a small observation can escalate like that once you start writing :) I agree with what your saying for sure. For myself, I've found there is a little more to it due to family history but I'm enjoying the discovery process. I'm noticing a lot more of the tactics that go on in interactions with those around me and certain things that were problems that contributed to the over-all stress, which no doubt contributed to the drinking. While I did enjoy it, I enjoyed it for all the wrong reasons, many of which I was unaware of at the time. It's getting easier to pick them off and continue with the rebuilding process. I'm really happy for you TS, with the dramatic improvement you've made in a short time. Well done! And "Thank you" for all of your positive feedback!

Great attitude Squashed! I can really relate to the smiling and general sense of happiness now. I find that even when it gets really stressful I'm still happier than I was when I was drinking. The rebuild takes awhile....actually it should never end! That's the best part of it. Living and moving forward while enjoying the moment.

hors controle, thank you for the positive feedback. Keep moving forward!

Best regards,

Dave

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 345

Hi Dave,

Wow, quite a philosophical journey you just embarked on . Really deep. Totally agree, labels can be very damaging. We don't refer to x smokers as old smokafeinds after all. One must absolutely reinvent themselves because as you noted squashed, things can get a little dated and stale.

Although, I'm not really thinking of myself of anything but "quit", much like I did when I quit smoking. I really don't look at my drinking as the result of A B or C of what went on in my life since then I would be deflecting responsibility. I drank because I enjoyed it and it made me feel good, I quit because it just wasn't any fun anymore among other things. End of story. I would no more put a drink to my lips now than I would a cigarette. I've quit and relapsed on both and know that it is an exercise in futility for me to even entertain moderation on either.

Nonetheless, as a result, I have rearranged my thought processes and am improving my physical environment so of course I had to strip off that old facade in order to ensure a solid foundation.

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 42

Hi Dave

I agree with your comment regarding being mindful of assigning labels to ourselves during recovery. In fact I have stopped thinking about myself in terms of "being in recovery" altogether. For me it assumes that I was broken, or ill or needing intervention which actually are pretty accurate but these labels do conjure negative images of that life. It's true I never want to return to my past life of alcohol madness but I don't think it's helpful to constantly be reminded of it.

I prefer to think of myself as being in the process of " re-inventing my life", similar to your renovation analogy. My life certainly needed a bit of redecoration, the tired and worn out look just had to go! Yes there's been a bit of preparation, some of it really hard going and like all home renovation projects, some investment in time and resources are required.

It's interesting that just lately I have actually been spontaneously smiling quite a lot! It's amazing that a fresh look can really open your eyes to amazing opportunities and beautiful things.

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 557

Interesting analogy... Thank for sharing this

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1009

cont'd......

When we get involved in programs that assist in recovery from alcohol abuse, we need to mindful of labels we assign to the problem because we are re-learning and programming new habits that are catalysts for change. The last thing we want to do is paint our identity with a label that binds us to the past when we’re trying to move forward.

Not sure if this is a discussion or more an observation........

I started a blog on my profile. This is my first entry.....

Best regards,

Dave

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1009

I was thinking of how recovery from alcohol abuse is somewhat of a metaphor for renovation. This challenge of overcoming addictive behaviour reminds me of painting over wallpaper. Over many years we paper over paper and the appearance changes and then one day we decide to paint over it. While it changes the appearance, all the painting did was cover up something we weren't particularly happy with in the first place. The ideas that motivated us to wallpaper are still there. Apply enough heat (stress, trauma, etc.) and the paint will peel off (relapse). What we should have done is strip the wallpaper, get down to the surface, and apply fresh paint. Addictive behavior that drives the engine of alcohol abuse is the same as the wallpaper. It needs to be stripped to the surface. Fresh paint represents the new ways of thinking" habits" reactions that eliminates the addictive behavior. Your house has many walls. You can paint one, but if you don't paint the others that made you unhappy you'll still be unhappy with the look. But painting isn't enough. We are rebuilding our structure from the ground up. Certain walls are worth keeping and others need to be taken down and rebuilt because they aren't stable and they compromise the stability of your house. It takes strength, handwork, positive support, and observation to rebuild. So when we finish we have a strong house that we feel comfortable and safe living in and it protects us from the elements; rain, snow, wind (negativity, loneliness, criticism, adversity)...basically all of the forces from the outside world. We're confident in the integrity of our house (you, your mind, your emotional stability) because internally our house is strong. We FEEL good about our new structure. The original contractors who helped us build it (parents, friends, family) didn't always have the skills to help us build the home that we needed so we have to take responsibility for the renovation. Thank God for choices! This is why recovery is different for everyone; because the original foundation and subsequent construction as well as what the vision is for the renovation is solely individual. Some people feel better with a combination of wood and concrete, others like bricks and iron. The combination can be endless. That's why it's so important to trust your contractors (who are helping you with rebuilding and recovery). We need a variety of contractors who specialize in different areas to get to the end goal. The one thing we must never do is weaken our foundation and structure by defining it as damaged and continuously referring to it in that context. Painting our new selves with the negative brush of the past is like using the old paint for the new look. We can add as much plaster and paint as we want but when a big storm comes or it's not kept up it crumbles.

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