yes wine is also my downfall. I have done the AA thing before but really hate it. I once was sober for 4 years and I too did not drink when pregnant and most of my childs first years. I want to cut back rather than quit, but I do need to quit white wine. It just does something to me and I get loaded and blackouts. If I stick to other drinks and limit them I think I can do this.
First of all welcome to our support community and thank you for introducing yourself. It sounds like you know where you can make a change to avoid triggers. Maybe you can try doing an activity before you go home for example: going for a walk after work, going to the gym, doing a yoga class, heading to the library.
I would also recommend going through the online program offered here to find tips and strategies for moderating your drinking.
Tonight is my first night on this site. Home is also a trigger for me - right after work. I feel like I need to change something about my pattern of coming home and having a drink while cooking supper, but I am not sure what to change or how to change. I am inspired by reading what others have wrote. I truly need to think only about one day at a time.
Right now I am thinking that I don't have the life skills that my children will need when they grow up so they can live a life without alcohol. I grew up with alcohol (used to serve it to adults at parties and in the home along with my sisters as young as 7-8yrs old).
Tonight, instead of hiding in my room drinking, I stayed up and watched a movie with my husband. Our relationship is strained but I was glad we spent that time together.
Oddly, my mom now lives in BC and she has no idea I am an alcoholic.
Thank you also Sian for sharing your story and congrats! I'm scared and looking forward to my first weekend in two years without drinking :)
This is a great question! You already received some fantastic advice so I don't have too much to add. But it might be helpful to you to think about this:
Imagine yourself as a happy non drinker... How would you be different? What would you be doing differently when you were at home? What new hobbies would you have? How would your home environment be different?
I can't often think of anything to post but want to share how things have gone for me since I started abstaining completely. It's been six weeks now, and my drinking was mainly at home before that. The first 3 weekends I really had to watch myself like a hawk as temptation often crossed my mind. Needed to be extra vigilant over those thoughts and not relax my guard at all, or I might have 'accidentally' bought alcohol or 'forgot' I was supposed to be abstaining.
Things that helped me at home were trying all kinds of exotic teas, cooking new recipes, pampering myself with hot baths, scented candles and body lotions, taking more naps than usual, reading these forums and other recovery websites, updating my diary now and again, and constantly reminding myself of the self-loathing I felt when I decided to quit, and how just one drink would land me straight back there.
AA meetings have helped me enormously and so have your messages on here, in many a dicey moment. This will be my seventh weekend sober and I can honestly say the emotional turmoil is calming down and the issue of whether or not to drink is gradually taking more of a back seat. I couldn't do this on my own - thanks to you all for being there.
I think it certainly help if our drinking buddy also stops. Like I mention in my other post, not wanting to talk to my ex drinking buddy has become important to me now. I certainly would not want to trigger in him the urge to drink to the point where he could die. He is taking Antibuse and if he drinks he can die. He almost did last summer when we went sailing. He had stop taking the pills for 3 days but it was still in his system. He did not tell me but he drank a micky. This was an awful experience. stock in the middle of the lake with someone turning blue.
I just realized that this also has become a motivation for me.... that and not wanting to hurt my children and get their trust back. But I am doing it for myself too. GETTING MY LIFE BACK!!!!!
Marylizy I think you're doing great, and taking that step to attend AA is a big step towards a new life. I'm proud of you. It's great that you and your friend are doing this together.....you can support each other through the process and you will always have someone who understands what you're going through. I think you are both very fortunate to have each other.
Having two light beer last night showed you are trying to control your drinking until you start your life of abstinence. We all have our moments where the urge is so strong that we will drink something we don't even like just to get that drink into us. Being aware that it's a problem and you need to change is what matters most. I am thinking of you and here to support you whenever you feel the need to write or vent. Hugs.
It sounds like you are all doing well and I am so glad to be reading the positive posts. It is very hard. I am still drinking but like last night, only had 2 light beers. That is so much better then I ususally am. Wine is my real down fall and as long as I do not have it in the house I am ok. There have been times the craving was so bad I would just run down to the conveince store and get what ever they had...I am trying hard and will go to my first AA meeting on Monday with by best friend. She has done AA before and was sober for 14 years. I have known her for 7 and she has been drinking all that time. She is my drinking buddy and now will be my get sober buddy. Wish us luck. It is so hard when your entire life is based around drinking. How does that happen? I guess those of us that like to drink just gravitate to others of like mind. Have a good Friday out there...
