Litsa, it may be that you are fixating on cigarettes. Remembering that one great smoke you think you had. Of course you are NOT remembering all the BAD cigarettes, all the coughing, all the heart ache. Please don't romanticize about those things. They were killing you then and they will do it again if you let it back into your life, Don't allow that dismal scenario back in your life Litsa.