hi hopeful,
I have an answer, and you probably aren't going to like it. When I heard it, I didn't like it, either. However, once you understand this, your quit will be a lot simpler.
You will experience anxiety with each reduction in nicotine until you have no more nicotine in your system. You can do this in steps, going through withdrawal with each decrease. Or you can do this all at once, by going cold turkey. But until the nicotine has been gone from your body for 3 days, you will keep going through this. By the way, you will keep going through this even if you don't attempt to quit. All active smokers go through this every day, as nicotine levels rise (providing release from withdrawal symptoms) and fall after not smoking for an hour or so (creating withdrawal symptoms). The good news is that, once you get through that final 3 days, you will not have to experience the addict's physical anxiety again. That is one of the thoughts that keeps me from relapsing, by the way.
I still think NRT's may be worth exploring, since some of your anxiety is simply about the idea of quitting. I think the knowledge that you can suck on a lozenge or chew some gum to relieve physical withdrawal symptoms might provide a sense of safety. I know it did for me. It also allowed me to deal with eliminating the habit/ behavior of smoking before I dealt with physical withdrawal. By the time I got to physical withdrawal, it was just that--physical. When I was able to deal with it minus a lot of the psychological dependence, I realized that I've had cases of the flu that were worse than the withdrawal. In other words, physical withdrawal is something I'd rather not re-live, but it's not worth panicking over.
I hope that helps.