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support from husband/wife

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 15

I'm sorry..I meant my Husband. I know he cares but, I know at the same time he does not really understand how I feel inside when my anxiety strikes. When it strikes that is all I can think or talk about and then I feel guilty and annoying. I have not really started therapy yet. Also, I am debating meds? I just got off of zoloft from a bad reaction and don't have anyone to ask for advice-Only those who are anxiety free...Thank you so much-Crystal :quest:

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 46

crystal, are you talking about the psychologist or your husband? let me know about that. I am here if you want to talk stories...maiya ;)

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 15

Oh My Gosh-I totally understand... I am giong through the similar thing. I constantly feel I need to talk to someone about this but, feel I am annoying at that no one can really understand so how can they really listen. I feel so scared and SO sad sometimes.

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 46

Hi PJ, thank you for your support. My husband is much better since I first posted my letter. He had read the book I had on anxiety without me knowing and he seems to listen to me more and responds more. I am going to a wonderful clinical psychologist. I told him about my attacks and he told me that he is going to help me as much as he can . the last psychotherapist was no help at all. this guy let me borrow a breathing tape to help anxiety/depression and he is loaning me his am/pm yoga dvd because he does yoga everyday and I told him I do yoga everyday for 3 weeks now. next session, he is going to teach me simple ways to overcome/help with the attacks that I have. I couldn't be happier. I had small attacks throughout the day though... :mad: :8o:

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 8

HI, I just replied on another board about the same subject. The only support I am getting from my husband is "you need to see a shrink". Which it's true, because he sure isn't helping. When I try to talk to him about the panic attacks, he gets this smug look on his face. He claims he has gone through the same thing and got over it. He is the type that you solve problems immediately. Well, I have been dealing with this for a year now, it can't be solved that easy. I have been to counseling, that seemed to help, but even she suggested that I see a psychiatrist. Which I plan to do soon. I am tired of these unexpected panic attacks. One thing I did learn in counseling is that I had a bout with Post Traumatic Stress which I didn't know I had. Maybe that is what lead to the panic attacks. Hopefully, someone will figure out a way to get our spouses involved. I am to the point that I don't talk to my husband about it, but when I was seeing the counselor, he sure did want to know what we talked about. Hope everyone is panic free today, I had a small one today after lunch but I made it.

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 46

that is a good suggestion, I will try that tonight...hee hee. thank you, maiya

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 46

Lisa, sorry to hear that. I really think that men are from a place that we will never know existed. even the good ones are far in left field. that is why I guess women love to talk **** about them...gives us a reason to congregate with our loved ones lol. I guess we really have to understand their point of view too. that is understanding that they don't understand what we are going through and that is it. however, that doesn't mean that they shouldn't act like they don't care, I don't care what people say, I will smack my husband in the back of the head and say,"eh, wake up...". write back soon, maiya

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 44

yes, Maiya: My husband doesn't read but he comes home and goes right to the dishes or mail or something and talks to me while he is doing these things. He wonders why I don't respond to him- could it be because he's not giving me his full attention??? I hate yelling and refuse to talk over the noise of water running. When he sits down next to me I know I have his attention (unless I have to compete with a good tv show)...does it never end??? I never tell him personal stuff like about my anxiety unless I know he is totally able to listen with all ears & eyes present - any distractions really do end up with me being disappointed and no one benefits. Try a different style something is bound to work! :)

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 10

Dear Maiyyakemi, My husband reads magazines and books constantly. He has now asked me to say his name before I get into any kind of disscussion with him. This seems to work because I wait for him to look up, stop reading, and when I am sure I have his attention I start the conversation. It is so frustrating but now that I know how to break his concentration he is more than interested in what I have to say. So try that next time. Say his name, not hey honey, or hey ugly. LOL Hope this helps Vlake

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 7

Hi, It is extremely difficult (& frustrating) when your husband/wife doesn't understand. People who don't have an anxiety disorder have a hard time giving moral support because they really just don't get it. I have been trying for 2 years to get my boyfriend to understand and be supportive but I've had no luck. I even made him talk to my therapist once, but I don't think he got it then either. Sometimes I feel like he thinks I have some type of contagious disease!!! When I met him, I didn't really have any agoraphobia issues and then all of a sudden, about 3 years ago, it came back and I've had difficulty traveling ever since. Last summer, he won a trip to Vegas and I couldn't go with him. As much as I tried to come up with ways for me to go, he absolutely didn't understand what the big deal was flying out west and wouldn't give me the support I needed to make the trip. My therapist told me that I can do it, with or without his help, but that it certainly would be much harder. And the funny thing is that I don't need him to "make it better", just provide simple supportive actions like tell me "it'll be OK" or "I'm here for you." Oh well. Write back if you can. Lisa

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support from husband/wife