I'm a little frustrated with myself.
I'm well into a very good and successful quit, yet the junkie talk just won't stop!
I tell myself that it's just stress, I've taken on a second job and am waiting to be oriented to a third, and so, it would be natural to feel a little bit on edge - is what i tell myself.
I just came off of a week at one job, and I had trigger after trigger going on....the clients were extra demanding, I burned supper, the phone rang constantly, and to top it off, my co workers smoke and I watched with a tinge of envy as they went out for 10 or 15 minutes at a time to have a little puff.
I've been taking advantage of their absence to take a little break of my own, which means, breathing. That's right just enjoying deep lung full breaths of air and telling myself that not everyone can do that and to enjoy it.
I also ate like I'd never seen food. My apetite was waaaay out of control, which depressed me a bit.
To top it all off, last night I dreamed that I had gone back to smoking and felt like a huge flop. When I woke up the dream stayed with me for a moment or two as I wondered how I was going to get through withdrawal all over again - then I remembered I still have some nic gum in my kitchen drawer and that gave the ambition to get out of bed.
man oh man, I'll tell ya, this is one very sneaky addiction. I may have killed the monster, but it has a ghost and it's haunting me right now.
*sheesh*
Once on my feet I understood it was only a dream and had a huge sense of relief. Then took a deeeeep breath.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]9/9/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 542
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 21,680
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $10,840.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 50 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 20 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30
