kristi,
Your honest and compassionate and these are great qualities. Your not a tyrant or monster, that is the quit talking.
You have experienced what can happen and what will happen, so prepare yourself, see the signs, and step away. Take mommy time, it is long overdo and be ready. Step by step we can help you, and day by day, you can do this.
Use those coping mechanisms and relaxation techniques. Got to bed early, leave the dishes for tomorrow. Take a break and let your body do some healing.
You deserve this!
Josie, Health Educator