Thanks for the tips all of you.
Randy, you hit the nail on the head! My mind never stops when I€™m out €“ but then it rarely stops when I€™m home either. It just keeps leaping from one thought to the next at a hundred miles an hour. I€™m not entirely housebound, thank God, but I don€™t go out much, and sometimes when I do it€™s like I€™m in a capsule, like there€™s some invisible force field between me and what€™s going on around €“ not so much when I€™m with someone else but always when I€™m alone. Sometimes it€™s like I€™m hovering outside myself, watching how I react, checking, (judging?) €“ which makes me feel isolated, and makes communication with others difficult and stilted. Ring any bells?
I don€™t think it€™s so much distance with me €“ more being ANYWHERE away. Leaving the €˜comfort zone€™ as you so rightly said, Della. But I do want to explore €“ long to €“ I€™ve a list of all the places I want to see! And I tell myself that one day I€™ll get there, that it won€™t always be like this. We have to, don€™t we?
I don€™t know about you, but I often feel like I€™m two people, one half adventurous and fun-loving, ready to take the world by storm, the other a scaredy-cat who€™s holding me back. Which is why I€™ve started the Panic Program. The scaredy-half's been dominating the scene far too long!!
We€™ll get there!
Henna