Hello all, I haven't been on this site for awhile so I am a little nervous. You see, I have GAD and I guess that is the way I was "wired" so to speak. Anyway, end of 2003 and 2004 has been a very yo-yo year. For example, I went on a cruise and had to leave early because I was continuously anxious and perhaps a tad clausterphobic. I was a mess and blamed myself constantly because why was I the only one feeling this way? The cruise was one of the old ships with basic entertainment, but I never felt so anxious. As I arrived home, it took me a long time to "heal" with the help of my therapist and medication. As I felt better, I became more and more ambitious, not realizing the effects that my decisions could have on GAD. For instance, I decided to take a leave of absence from my work and teach English in Korea for an entire year. Mind you, I have never been to Asia nor tried Korean food. Sadly, I didn't last a week and I was on the flight home a nervous wreck. Again, that familiar cycle kicked in by me kicking my butt...what was I trying to prove? Why couldn't I have stayed there? Was it culture shock? Why did my anxiety overcome me again??? I don't understand. Lastly, just recently, I decided to go for some cosmetic surgery. Again, not taking my GAD into any consideration. The first 2 weeks of healing were hard because not only was I anxious, but depressed and extremely sensitive. Did I need the surgery? Am I a criminal for putting myself through this? Why am I so anxious? No. Anyway, I am seeing my therapist regularly and I take my medication too. I am slowly healing physically but my primary goal is to get back on track and feel happy again. My main concern is that I wake up anxious with knots in my stomach...any suggestions?
Much appreciated,
G
