It is Monday morning, I'm setting here at work, thinking of how I'm going to say goodbye to my boy this Thursday. I haven't stopped thinking about smoking all weekend. I am sweating constantly, the back of my hair and neck are soaked with sweat all the time. All I want is a smoke, I keep telling myself I quit, I can do it, so why not enjoy a few more years of smoking then quit again, since I know I can. I keep telling myself my oldest one is leaving the nest, whats the point now, go ahead and smoke. When will the cravings stop!! I am 72 days in and I crave every %^&$*&^% day! I am getting tired of fighting, tired of wanting. I just want to fill the empty feeling inside of me. I'm sick of gum, I'm tired of gaining weight, I'm tired. I proudly announced yesterday at a goodbye party for my son that I was 71 days into my quit to the majority of my family. They all congratulated me, and told me how great that was. But in the back of my mind, all I could think of was wanting a smoke. I felt like a liar when I told everyone that, even though I wasn't lying, I haven't had one puff in 72 days now, but inside my head, the junkie won't die. This week is going to be a test for me to say the least. Thursday will be the hardest day I will face by far since I've started this quit. I know the junkie will be on the rampage, it will sense my emotional state and try to capitalize on it, I will have to have my guard up. I just want the craving to stop, will it ever stop? Will there ever come a day when I won't think about it....ever?
My Mileage
Smoke-Free Days: 72
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,470
Amount Saved: $691.20
Life Gained:
Days: 10 Hrs: 11 Mins: 33 Seconds: 5
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Quit Meter
$40,076.40
Amount Saved
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Quit Meter
Days: 1075
Hours: 6
Minutes: 3
Seconds: 53
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
5872
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
176,160
Cigarettes Not Smoked