Why feel guilty?
I think being anxious about your wife is normal.
I think your avoidance of school will need to be resolved.
I'm not a doctor or counsellor.
I sort of explained what has worked for me.
The first part of what I have done, is to have the kind of determination that did not allow failure as an option.
Until you reach that same determination, it's difficult to succeed...
It's almost like you have GOT to replace the negative with positive EVEN when you think you might not be able to. You have to WANT to, EVEN when you don't want to...does that make sense?
You have to learn to change the channel in your head.
Again
CHANGE OCCURS WHEN THE FEAR OF STAYING THE SAME IS GREATER THAN THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO MAKE.
Until you reach that conclusion, you may be stuck.
I'm not sure you're there yet, but that doesn't mean that someday you won't be. :)