Not sure where to put this, so I will put it in the old stand by.
Today was really hard. I was hot, I was cranky and I kept having to do things that I did when I smoked. I really disliked getting up from a task and thinking oh my god I would have had a cigarette about now. No breaks with cups of coffee and smokes, no ease of the tensions I felt. No masking the desire that would rise through me as I thought about smoking.
What I did do in the face of this desire/crave was think/realize and notice how far I have come. I kept thinking about being able to paint those straight lines, thinking about how I wasn't so frustrated and stessed that I could barely move or was actually shaking from frustration this manifestation of stress no longer in my body, that amount and quality of stress just doesn't happen any more. As I went to the airport a favorite place to grab a smoke outside knowing that I might be an hour or more I walked in and congratulated myself on thinking about having an iced tea while I waited. I kept noticing all day how I am dealing with stress differently. I am not nearly so brittle as I was, I am way more balanced.
All of these realizations seemed a reward to me. And I need to actually reward myself, some ice cream would be nice. That is what I am doing as I wind myself down for the day. Have a lovely tree ripened peach and a big bowl of vanilla ice cream. Perfect end to a long,hot, and challenging day.
Sorry that I have not posted here today and I have been at work since 8:30 this am and I got home at 10:00 tonight tomorrow is about the same. Oh well when it rains it pours... :blush:
Cheers all and more latter in the week. Otherwise I will lurk if I can, I hope to have internet at the office tomorrow, was supposed to be today and it will be tomorrow...
Peace
Phillip :)
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 157
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,159
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1177.5
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 25 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 50 [B]Seconds:[/B] 14
