Since I've been documenting my thoughts, what I having be doing, or avoiding, each week in my panic diary, every day that was my "best" day, is the days I do my exposure work, rather it be baby steps, or overcoming to trust others in my getting out and not just depending upon only one person. I have opened up more to riding with my daughter who only has a permit, and we took a long trip on Sunday, she did well, as I did well. The fear of only having my support person is start to dissipate. I have noticed on the days I do get out, I feel really good, and it reinforces me to try things on my own, the smaller steps around my normal comfort zone, I used to depend on someone to walk with me to get further about my subdivison to expand my boundaries, last week I accomplished this on my own (did have my dog though). My thoughts over the last 2 months became bad enough, that I couldn't face being alone at night, my husband works 3rd shift, and I started to depend on at least one of my two children, to be here with me. Ie:. example on a weekend, only one could go to sleep overs with friends, and the other would have to stay home that night. My daughter goes out alot, because she is the oldest and is 18, with college friends, this is more typical for someone her age. I realized, I was confining my children with me. Since I started back on my medication, and keeping myself around more positive people, getting out (#1), I was seeing the pattern, that the apprendhension was gone, once I did my exposure work. The past three weekends, the kids are free to enjoy their lives with their friends, and I havent been scared to stay alone anymore. Anybody else noticing patterns, thoughts, while documenting your good days?
Trish
