Hi BFS, How are you doing today? Not too good I see. Sorry that you are feeling this way, maybe I can help. Allot of the friends I have today are from work. Now keep in mind I do not still work any any of the companies that i made my friends with but i managed to make lasting friendships. To get to the point what about your work, I know that you said that you have gone out with some of them but nothing paned out afterward. i know you also said that you were afraid if you went up to them and asked them tothe movies that they would run scared but instead of a movie (where you really can't get to know someone) what about going for coffee, or a drink after work. I also don't know what the age difference is between you and everyone else. If it's drastic then i understand what you mean by them running scared. And if there is a big gap what about an online dating. I know allot of people think scary, but i have known people who actually got married from meeting on those sites (and not there not crazy). Oh wait this site is about not smoking (sorry i got off track) :p I guess what I am trying to say is that there are other options, maybe it just takes an outsiders opinion. But don't blow all that you have done with not smoking.. You really are an inspration here.. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 58 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,756 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $377 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 1 [B]Seconds:[/B] 13

Pam, Just remember that most people will walk the opposite direction from a smoker instead of towards them if they have the choice. There are some great responses here so let me just say the WE CARE and...... [img] http://stubow.com/ssc/bear.gif [img] {{{{BIG OLE BEAR HUGS FROM STU TO PAM}}}} Just Say N.O.P.E. [img] http://stubow.com/ssc/ka.jpg [img] Kickin Ash in 06 StuBow [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/13/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 48 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,218 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $192 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 42 [B]Seconds:[/B] 42

You are very strong from what I've seen and I'm sure that you won't resort to smoking to make a friend. I know what you mean about not having anyone to talk to or hang out with. I have lived in the town I'm in for 11 years and I don't have anyone either. If it wasn't for my family, I'd have nobody to turn to. Sometimes they aren't the best resort,but better than nothing. Hang in there. I'm sure eventually you will meet someone. Before I was married I never made many "girl" friends, but I had plenty of "boy" friends. Flirting is always fun :) Tennielle

Oh and I find sometimes that I meet people I really get along with. I invite them or they invite me somewhere to do something. I also found that having really good friends takes up alot of time and energy. When I was in school and had a full time job, I didn't have the time and energy to spare. Not that you have to throw away school for a friend, but perhaps you can find someone to incorporate them into what your working on. A study buddy on the same career path? And you may find that there are alot of people in the same boat as you are there. Getting a Masters degree takes up alot of social time. Now that I'm married and have kids and a full time job, again I don't have the time and energy. I have aquaintances I laugh and talk with at work, but nobody I can call or hang out with outside of that. It's hard sometimes, but i just remind myself that life is about choices. What is more important to me? My family or some friends? Also I think finding a truely best friend is rare. I've only had one my entire life and they moved away when I was like in the 5th grade or something. I'm just lucky to have 4 sisters and between them I can find at least one that's not mad at me and wants to talk :) IM me anytime. I'm a good listener. Aquaintances are good to have. You can hang out with them, but you don't have to put the whole committment into it. If your lucky you can find a few that you can trust not to gossip and talk to them about stuff. Hope you feel better soon. Tennielle

Pam, You are a very special, sensitive and caring person. You are not alone, there are so many people on this site that really care and are here for you. And you have given alot on this site. And no it is not the same, but we do care. It takes a while to make friends, wether they smoke or not has nothing to do with it. And you know that smoking after quiting really sucks. Please do not smoke, you have worked to hard for this quit. [IMG]http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f190/cuddlebug230/thbutterfly5.gif[/IMG] PS Butterflies do not smoke Cuddles [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 13 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 279 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $46.8 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 30 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30

[IMG]http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f190/cuddlebug230/thBUTTERFLY.jpg[/IMG] Cuddles [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 17 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 356 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $61.2 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 57 [B]Seconds:[/B] 15

Pam I really hope you are getting the support you need from these excellent responses that you are receiving. You are not alone. I just wanted to suggest that you may want to talk to a counselor to see if they could possibly help you identify what may help you. Does your school have a counseling program you can go through? I hope this helps. We all know that smoking will not. Best of Luck. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 242 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,851 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $847 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 21 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 3 [B]Seconds:[/B] 26

Pam. You don't want to smoke and you know it. You have worked too hard for your quit. Life is full of ups and downs. Smoking will not make anything better and you know it. You said it yourself. You don't want to smoke. You really do mean a lot to so many on this site. You have helped quitters break freedom from the addiction of smoking. You are a big part of this quit family and you are not alone. It can be difficult to be alone. But you are not. We are here and we are real people not just names on a computer screen. Tomorrow the sun will rise again. Just hang in there. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 238 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,778 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $833 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 21 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 22 [B]Seconds:[/B] 11

I'm really low right now. I'm frustrated, depressed and growing very impatient. As many of you know, I moved in August to go back to school to get my Master's, thus leaving my life behind, after I lost my job and a bunch of other bad things happened. This all happened about 1-2 months after I quit smoking. Well, since moving, I haven't made any friends... not one. Sure, I have acquantances, but no friends... nobody I can call to hang out with... nobody to talk to. People keep telling me to be patient, but it's been almost 7 months, and you have no idea how lonely it gets when you don't have a single friend you can turn to. When I smoked, I had a good job, plenty of really good friends and a good life. Now, I know that smoking won't make all of these things come back, but I now associate quitting with losing my job, my friends and my happiness since it all happened so close to the time I quit. It's easy to say, "don't think that way," but when you're in it, it's much harder to convince yourself of this. I've been seriously considering going back to smoking. This would not be a slip or an accident, but a pre-meditated decision to smoke again. It has nothing to do with cravings... it's rare that I ever get any cravings at all. And this isn't something I WANT to do! I think at this point, I would seriously have to force myself to smoke again, but I honestly don't know what else to do! This is a last-resort, desperate attempt to make friends in a town where I have none. I know, this must sound stupid to all of you, but let's face it... it's a hell of a lot easier to make friends when you're a smoker than it is when you're a non-smoker. I mean, when's the last time you went up to someone, or had someone come up to you and say, "can I NOT bum a cigarette?" or "Can I NOT borrow your lighter?" Designated smoking areas and bumming cigarettes or borrowing lighters make for great conversation starters. We all know this... it's probably one of the reasons we all started smoking in the first place. And some might say I'm not trying hard enough to find friends. Trust me, you couldn't be more wrong! I've tried EVERYTHING!!! School clubs, school activities, church, volunteer positions, regular jobs... you name it, I've tried it! This isn't some

Thanks Lady and Penguin. I appreciate your support. Lady, I know the sun will rise, but what's the point in being smoke free if I'm not enjoying my life? I quit so I could have a more quality life and have more money to spend on other things, rather than cigarettes... but if I don't have anyone to spend time with or spend money to go do things with, then what's the point of staying quit? I'm really trying to stay positive here, but I'm just about done. I don't think I can hold on much longer. I want to live... but what am I living for if I'm totally alone? Is there something I'm not seeing? Is there something I'm not doing? I just don't know where to turn. I don't want to give up, but I'm not sure I want to fight anymore either. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 119 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,999 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $392.7 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 8 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 57 [B]Seconds:[/B] 51