I can totally relate to what you are saying. I too do not like confrontation at all, and in the past, I would go along with many situations that I normally wouldn't do if I weren't depressed. I never liked anyone being mad at me and felt very uncomfortable expressing my feelings and disagreements with what people were doing. And I wasn't very good at saying No to the things I really didn't want to do. Now I am learning to set healthy boundaries for myself and learning that it is okay to say No, and that I am not responsible for how that might make another person feel. I am only responsible for "My" feelings, not theirs. It was very hard to do at first, but it is getting easier the more I do it and I'm feeling more in control of my situations and relationships and feeling alot better about myself. I wouldn't consider yourself a wimp, and from my experience, I do believe that it is a part of depression and suppressing your true feelings. I began by saying "No" for the first time in a long time and I felt liberated even though I was really uncomfortable doing it, and it's getting easier for me as I go along and practice saying "No".
Related to my thoughts below, is my inability to draw the boundries I normally would have. In social situations I have become uncomfortable with saying 'No' At other times I find I find it difficult to stand up for what is rightin situations I don't tolerate. I have become a wimp. I am afraid of confrontation. I assume this is part and parcel of Depression.
I am finding the opposite. At times I will procrastinate. At times I will make a rash decision. Either way it seems what decisions I do make are what I feel I'm obligated to make and not neccessarily the decision I want to make or is best for me. Yes, those automatic thoughts seem to dictate what I decide.
It takes a lot of courage to make changes in relationships so good for you.
Your thread has reminded me how important it is to be in tune with ourselves and to not just try to mask difficult emotions. They can lead us to more fufillment and growth. It's always important to be self reflecting. Thanks again for sharing!
Most problems that I have now is with personal relationships, I am not having any problems at work as before. But things are always changing, so one problem at a time. Depression has giving me the courage to take some decisions with respect to this personal relationships, which in turn improved my mood, as you already appointed so well.
I think you make a very good point. Often when we feel negative emotions like depression, anger, sadness, frustration, etc. these emotions are there for a reason. If you pay attention and look towards what is causing these feelings you can find the root of the problem. Sometimes the root of the problem is thought patterns and in this case CBT is helpful. Other times the root problem is something situational that needs to change. Once you make the change then you start to feel better. Our negative emotions usually teach us something. It just may take quite a bit of effort to discover what it exactly is.
Recently I have been thinking that not all depression is bad. Sometimes it helps making decisions which otherwise I wouldn't have the courage to do. What do you think about this?
