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Feeling very overwhelmed and scared!

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Feeling very overwhelmed and scared!

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 43

Hi Ashley,

I came to our "retirement" home a couple of weeks ago and haven't come to Ceredian since then. However I find myself automatically using the tools I've acquired and have found a little bit of success in doing so. I'm just starting on session 9 about core beliefs and identifying and rating them on the scale by breaking down terms such as "loser". I've had some really hard days while here because I can think more clearly without the city noise and all our fur babies and a lot of stuff bubbles to the surface. I brought our one pup (Sage) and having to be totally responsible for her well being has been a good thing, forcing me to make decisions I otherwise would just have let my family take care of unless I absolutely had to do so. Working on these old beliefs and working on making new ones has been very hard and I find myself often returning to the past and struggling to leave it where it belongs. I can't change what happened but I know if I put in the effort I can make a brighter future. I do still wonder sometimes what the point is but can recognize that it is the depression talking. CBT has been quite a journey so far and I look forward to there being more good days then bad and I know I can do it. To anyone reading this I hope your journey is successful and you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. With therapy and hard work with this program I think almost everyone can find that inner peace we've all been desperately searching for. So to all of us I wish more peace daily and a successful journey to the light. God speed!

Rosiesmom

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Very glad to hear you are feeling a bit better and you are going to continue with the program. You have been a valuable member to our little support group here and it would be a loss for us if you left.

Keep us updated on how you are doing.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 43

Thank you Ashley and LindaI am feeling a bit better then I was a few days ago. I did see my doctors this week which kid of help though my psychiatrist is pushing me to get back to work. I know I'll have to eventually and I want to, but I'm really anxious, especially having this episode. I know that what I do is entirely up to me and I will make that decision when the time comes. Thank you for your support, and of course I will continue on in the site. It's been an invaluable tool!

Rosiesmom

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi rosiesmom,

I don't think you are supposed to do anything you don't want to do. If you don't feel like working on exposure or anything else right now that is perfectly ok. You have been through a lot and sometimes it is best to rest. You have worked really hard and you have come a long way. Having down days or even weeks is a normal part of the process. Try not to be too hard on yourself. All the learning you have gained is still there and will be there whenever you are ready to get back at it. Until then know we are always here to listen.

How you you feeling today?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 44

Hi Rosiesmom,

I'm so sorry that you are in a bad space right now. I hope that you do continue to connect with the DC as there are people here who understand depression & anxiety. You are in my thoughts. Take care, Linda

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 43

I'm sorry to say that right now I'm in such a bad place that I just don't care anymore. All this hard work I've put in seems like it's been a giant waste of time. These cycles are wearing me down. All my life I've done and thought what others have told me I need to do and think and right now I figure that's what I'll just continue doing. After all I'm just supposed to suck it up and stop whining. This is how I've felt my entire life, depressed, anxious and useless, guided to where others think I should be and just doing it. Why, at 58, should anything be different now? I will return to work regardless of how I feel because I'm expected to support others needs and wants and I will do what I am told to do like always and just suck it up. I'm not sure if I'll continue the program though it has been a valuable tool. I just can't do it anymore and end up disappointing myself and of course others (the "important" others). I already feel I've let down everyone, so why not just be what they expect of me. I'm really sorry and I do thank you for the words of encouragement these past months. It's been a good place to come but right now I can't do it anymore. I do see my G.P. and my psychiatrist this week, so maybe they can help. I don't know. I really have tried and worked so hard!

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi rosiesmom,

I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way. The loss of loved ones is incredibly hard.

have already but a lot of hard work in and like you said, the tools you have gained will support you. Continue to allow yourself to mourn but I think it is also good that you continue to push yourself to get out and get moving. Each day try to do at least one thing productive and one thing that is pleasant. You may also want to start slowly exposing yourself to things that make you anxious. As you have been away from work for a few months now it is normal to feel anxious; especially because you have had so much to go through. Avoiding what makes you anxious only reinforces the fear so according to CBT the answer is to slowly challenge yourself. Pin point what exactly you fear about going back to work. Is it the social interaction? Is it getting out of the house? What exactly is it? Once you figure that out create an exposure plan. When exposing yourself to what makes you anxious keep your anxiety and fear level to about a 7 out of 10. You want to challenge yourself but it has to be manageable. You should try to challenge yourself once a day but do what works for you. Whenever you get through it be sure to reward yourself and be present to your strength! Record your exposure plan and your fear level from 1 to 10 before, during and after the exposure.

The symptoms of anxiety like light headedness and shortness or breath are very common. They are scary but they usually pass within 20 minutes. Breathing techniques can help. Also, be sure to talk yourself through it. Remember these feelings are just symptoms of anxiety they themselves are not to be feared and they will pass. Try not to fear anxiety- after all it is just a feeling. Let it pass over you like a wave. Keep us updated on how you are doing. We are all rooting for you!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 43

Hi Linda,

Thank you for your words. I've actually become pretty good at deflecting negative thoughts but yesterday it took quite some time to come down from that panic feeling and it left me really drained. I know these feelings can be cyclical but it sure does take a toll on one. I'm still feeling very depressed today but I'm going to go out with my husband and do some summer shopping and then enjoy the beautiful day we are having. I have my meditation materials which are very useful as well. I can't imagine where I'd be at if I didn't have the tools I've gathered over these past few months and am grateful that I do have them at my disposal. Thank you for the reminders. It's people like yourself that help remind me that I'm important and am allowed to be happy. I hope you are doing well and that Skylar is as well. Give that boy a big hug from me.

Warmly,

Rosiesmom

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 44

Hi rosiesmom,

I was thinking of you today - thinking that I must drop you a line to see how you're doing as I hadn't seen a post from you in quite some time. Is long term disability an option for you? Perhaps you need more time, or perhaps going back could be a good thing to help desensitize you....often it is our fear of things that is worse than the actual thing....remember challenging negative thoughts...most scenarios are not as scary as we think they will be. I haven't been doing my worksheets, I'm aware of them but mostly I find trying to be mindful and grateful for things helps me a lot....rather than focusing on the negative, which is so easy to do. Learning to switch off the stream of negative thoughts is a challenge, but when you do and start focusing on the positive, things do seem better. Recently I have lost a number of people that I know and I find that I have to try a different coping mechanism...one similar to the Buddhist philosophy ....life is suffering but it is also good....I try to accept the inevitable loss and try to live as "happily" as I can. I am reading a book called "The Zen Path through Depression" (I think...it's not on me right now) by Philip Martin. Self-preservation is so important. Look after yourself and then you can help to look after and help others. Again, writing down 3 things a day that I am grateful for and doing a random act of kindness helps to keep my mind in check. "All the best. I wish you peace, joy and happiness." (A quote that it is said at the end of my beginner's yoga session...it always makes me smile and makes me feel good)

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 43

Hello,

I have been feeling increasingly sad and anxious as of late. The loss of three women in my life in the past 2 1/2 months is taking a toll on me and this is coming at a time when my short term disability is getting just about 3 weeks from ending. The more I think about it the more anxious I become. I went to the workplace today to pick something up from a co-worker and as I got closer to the building and then inside, I felt like I was going to have a heart attack and I became very light headed and short of breath. I said hello to a couple of people and then I raced away from there as safely and quickly as I could. I feel like I have a lot on my plate to deal with and while I do try to work the program, I'm still left feeling depressed and scared. I'm extremely grateful to have very loving and caring people in my life to help me try see where this is all coming from. However, I'm just afraid that if I go back to work I'll not be able to function properly. I want to be ready so I can do well, for myself mostly. Any words of wisdom out there?

Rosiesmom

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Feeling very overwhelmed and scared!