Don't really have a plan. I feel like getting downright plastered, but have no money so can't even buy alcohol (not that I would actually drink it...I rarely drink even when alcohol is available...it clashes with my vegetarian/health lifestyle).
I wanted to stay in bed all day today, but kids wanted crepes for breakfast, then someone puked and I needed to clean it up, then they needed stuff washed, and then they wanted me to get some cash for them so I had to search to find a way to access some cash and then...and then....there is just always something I must do right now that I have not got back to just laying in bed trying to figure out how to deal with this reality.
Emptiness is not a good feeling. I don't think it is petty to be sad that you didn't get any gifts on the biggest gift-giving day of the year! Gifts are symbolic of love and thoughtfulness, etc. That could send anyone reeling for a few days.
So, what is your plan to get through this time? It is quite common to feel blah after the hustle and bustle of the holidays. You are not alone.
I can't get out of bed. I feel so heavy, so lethargic, so uninterested...
This depression is different from my usual stuff. Normally I build up to it. I feel stressed about nothing, anxious for no reason, crave sweets and can feel my patience eroding. Then I finally snap in a screaming fit until I collapse from exhaustion and THEN I am lethargic and heavy and can't get out of bed. This bout of lethargy actually seemed to have a trigger from my life. (normally it seems to come randomly....even when my life is GREAT...which it usually is). I was watching my family open their Xmas presents and when it was all done I suddenly felt a great emptiness. I almost think I was sad that there were no presents for me. So petty...I know. And I have been a real drag ever since. But no screaming fits...nothing....just emptiness....
It's different.
All the same...I want it to go away. I don't feel any better today.
