Like the nickname, eh? I was very depressed when I chose it and wanted to feel bright and sunny so was telling myself it was a brightsunnyday!
Yes, it is good to be out in the country where the air is cleaner and nature is close....I think. Having said that, I find that I have gotten WORSE since I moved from the city. Maybe just age....maybe something else...maybe the country air is keeping me from getting worse faster....maybe the country air is bad for me? I do have respiratory allergies....I am allergic to several weeds, trees, dust, dander...so....I dunno....
If I knew at least WHY I am depressed I could be focused on curing it.
I have moved along in the program and have been keeping a Thought Record. Every time my mood changes, I record the date, time, level of mood change and everything that is going on at the time. It is very discouraging. My moods are changing for no apparent reason. I was elated at 10 am today. I was sending emails with smiley faces, laughing and giggling on the phone and then at noon I was in my office and the phone rang. It was a friend of mine. But for some reason I really didn't feel like talking. We talked 10 minutes. Then the kids were asking me questions and I was getting annoyed with them. I was having trouble talking without stuttering. I could not think straight. I was annoyed with the newest emails. I started thinking about my full schedule, no money and other negative thoughts...out of the blue. Then I noticed my eyebrows were furrowed and I was frowning. WTH? Nothing bad happened. In fact, nothing different happened at all. I was just sitting here and voilà my mood changed in a matter of minutes.
I keep expecting that Pleasant Activities will cheer me, and keeping track of changes in my thoughts will enlighten me so I can finally get rid of depression. But I am just finding that the world around me has nothing to do with my depression. I feel so hopeless right now. If I can't change things to make myself better, what chance do I have of every feeling peace?
You are not doing anything wrong. Keep working at the program little by little. With each time you record your thoughts you are learning more. Try not to expect too much early on. This is a long process and it will take time.
Members, please share your experiences working with the Pleasant activity sheet?
I am fairly new to the program and I have got as far as Goals and Activties. I have used the Pleasant Activities sheet to record my mood before and after my favourite activties. I figured I was supposed to see how they make me happy and encourage me to include more things just for me. Yet, I find that my mood before and after a pleasant activity is almost always exactly the SAME. The outside world does not seem to reflect my moods well. Everything in life could be great, yet I could still fall into depression. However, contrairely I did find that while feeling "down" a negative activity can send me into a depressive fit. But if I don't feel too down in the first place, a negative activity or really bad event won't affect my mood negativitely at all. I can deal with bad things if i already feel good, but can't if i am depressed. But good things don't cheer me up when I am depressed.
Am I doing something wrong in the program already? Wasn't I supposed to see how goals and pleasant activities make things better?
