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for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 12049

Fur,

This is a great step for you! Please continue to let us know how it is going and how we can help. Your positive attitude is a plus and it will help you to progress and work toward your goal!

Very proud of you!

Josie, Health Educator

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Hello everyone,

Well today was the day. I went into my meeting with the Therapist to find out where I might fit. I was hopeful, optimistic and open to suggestion. She still made me feel I should know about their programs and what would fit for me. So we went through the list and the ones that are more supportive are groups during the day 3 times a week, so none of these would work for me as I would miss too much work. The last option which is what the Psychiatrist wanted me to go into is 18 weeks every evening 5 - 9 group therapy, really intense and strict. So I said let's go for it, I am open to try anything at this point. So she made the referral and then she told me that it wasn't for sure that I would have to meet with some of the people running the group (classroom because there are 20 + people in it) and they would decide if I could go in. So now I get to stress about being good enough for complete strangers in order to get help. I am breathing. I will keep breathing.

I told the Therapist about the Support Network and she was pretty irked that I had gone there. I told her what we did and that I needed the ego boost after being beaten up on Friday. She still doesn't think it was that bad, and, I said to me it was, it was very unfair and cruel. I told her the lady at the Support Group was really nice and worked with me to get past the crisis I was currently experiencing so that I could think more clearly. She told me that I would not be permitted to partake in any other therapy while I was under their umbrella, so when I see the Support Group lady on Monday, I will have to tell her that.

I am not going to be negative, I am going to be positive and believe that some aspect of the therapy will be supportive. I do not like the idea of being video taped and then having everyone watch it to criticize me (my thoughts). Then she said there was an exercise component right now they do breathing and volleyball, breathing yes, volleyball yay (I am being sarcastic, I never did understand sports, except playing football and watching hockey and curling (I would like to try curling someday).

So I spoke with my mom and she said she would meet with the Therapist. Then it turned back to her problems (never fails) her life has to be more important than anyone elses.

Well gonna go, before I start down the alley that won't help anyone.

Love you guys.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 517

I'm glad you found some relief. It's hopeful to know they are still out there somewhere.

But I can't believe she said that all therapies are like that. I hate it when they say that. Especially people who have professions to "help" people.

I often crave cigarettes too.. but I've quit many years ago... so instead I run to my chocolates.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1044

Glad that you found out your dad is supportive. What a wonderful thing to be thankful for - parents!!!!! Hope you find out your mom is too.

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with finding a good therapist. Please give her an chance, keep an open mind and listen, sometimes in their questions, they give more information than they are wanting. If they ask the question, they ask it for a reason. There are many counseling theories. Every counselor has one and some have an eclectic blend (use whatever suits them at the time or situation). Again, be patient, don't expect immediate results. Continue to breathe, calmly slowly, picture an ocean when you breathe and the tides going in and out. Or hear the sound of a waterfall (my favorite). Go to a happy place in your mind and yes, please breathe! You can do it.

Keep an open mind regarding therapy and therapist!!!!!

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Thanks for keeping us updated furgittit.

I am glad you had a good meeting with the Support Network counsellors. It is definetely nice to feel heard. Sometimes that's all we need.

Be sure to let us know about your mom!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Update, I spoke with the Therapist yesterday and she said that what I felt at the initial assessment wasn't normal, and that it wasn't supposed to feel like an attack. She seemed to be a real itch. She made me feel worse than I did before talking to her. She also told me all Therapy was going to be that way, with all the questions and I had to do all the work and the Therapist was supposed to gently guide you to do it on your own. I said, if I had the answers, I wouldn't be asking for help. She got a little huffy with that. I don't think it is going to work with her.

So I had to leave work early as I was having a meltdown, I went to the Support Network, of course after all the mental health professionals before, I didn't think much would happen, but they listened, and heard, and worked with me and I felt comfortable with them. It was more like a gab session with friends (the real ones) that were just interested in being there for me, kinda like you guys, but instant (maybe we should freeze dry them then soak them in water when we need them (ichiban therapists

) Crazy I know, but I felt much more at peace with myself than I had in a long time. Unfortunately, this is a very short-term type of therapy so I will only get 4 or 5 sessions but if I feel better afterwards, then what harm has it done.

So. now I have the courage to face the dragon lady tomorrow. And I am ok with that, I have also asked my parents if they would be willing to talk to someone from the Psych clinic my dad said, anything to help me, which was sweet and I haven't had a response from my mom yet, I may have to call her, I don't know if I am ready for that (she doesn't have my home number thankfully because she can be quite, overbearin and opinionated). But I have my trusty little nasties if I need to build up extra courage (3 in 24 hours isn't too bad is it?).

Well here's hoping everyone here has a good day, and I will keep you posted about how it goes tomorrow and with my mom.

Breath, Breath, Breath.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Here's one for all of you out their doing research into depression and possible effects certain, activities and substances have on a person prone to depression.

I am not one to say studies show, but I just had to especially with the almost instant positive effect I had today. Well I googled nicotine as a treatment for depression. Lot's of studies, most of which indicate that nicotine does have a positive effect in the treatment of depression and most people who do smoke, tend to smoke to alleviate anxiety and depression. This may be why it is more difficult for people who suffer from MDD to quit smoking.

I am going to repeat what the "studies" say don't start smoking just because the studies indicate smoking may alleviate depression symptoms, but it does give some pause to the thinking that the only treatments out their are viewed as positive healthy choices (exercise, change in diet, journaling, talking etc.) Thus far nicotine is a drug which is readily available if your over 18, which obviously has some negative side effects, like any other medication available.

I am going to be looking into this some more (amazingly enough my clarity of thought has improved). I might even review when my symptoms seemed to worsen in conjunction with my original quit date etc.

Don't start smoking, I repeat don't start smoking. Don't start smoking, don't start smoking, don't start smoking. Oh yeah, don't start smoking.................

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Thank you everyone for your kind words.

I haven't felt this darn good in a long time. I went out at lunch, bought a pack of smokes and lighter and smoked that sucker down to the end by myself and concentrated on the luxurious feeling of peace and calm associated with this nasty habit. I feel much better and more able to deal with the rest of the stresses of the day. Heck even my food tastes better.

I know bad, bad, bad, but I am not going to feel guilty over it, because it is my one pleasure I have denied myself for so long that it just feels good to have something that is mine. Now breath, breath, breath and let it go.

Oh by the way still waiting to here from my Therapist.

But I think I can handle the rest of my just fine now.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1693

furgittit,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a rough time. Your feelings are understood, and trying to find an appropriate health care professional can be quite frustrating and exhausting. Please remember that we are always here for you. We do not by any means take the place of a physician, but we are always here to listen and provide help and support, whenever you need it.

Hang in there

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Thanks everyone.

While I was driving home, I bawled, when I got home blew up at my daughter because the dishes weren't done (how stupid is that? they are just dishes), locked myself in my room, bawled some more, called the crisis centre asked if they would just listen they said as I was so distraught I should call an ambulance and go to emergency (thankfully I used my cell phone, which is in my husband's name or there probably would have been an ambulance pulling up at my front door terrifying my kid and neighbours. So hung up and cried and cried and cried. Breathing, breathing, still breathing.

I have thought about getting a new GP, but that will be too difficult because where I am they just aren't taking new patients.

I even tried calling the psych clinic to talk with the Therapist and she wasn't available so I talked with another lady and all she said was its too bad that I felt that way after the assessment and that it shouldn't have been that bad. Then she said that that was all she could do as I would have to talk to the assigned Therapist. So left a frantic voicemail and still haven't heard anything so when I do hear from her, I will just have to say what's the point, when I ask for help and I need help, all I get is what do you think? deal with it on your own? that's too bad and blah, blah, blah.

Is it any wonder why people give up?

Not tonight, don't worry.

Thanks again.

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