Hi Null
Can you go back to the post you wrote a month ago and get your head into that space again? You've taken a huge stride into utterly unfamiliar territory -- it's not surprising that you're second-guessing and doubting yourself, particularly after the relationship you've been in, but it doesn't have to overwhelm you. Sylvie's right -- the list you've made is perfect for practicing your CBT skills :)
What would you-of-a-month-ago say to you-today?
NullPointer,
It's great that you've pointed out what you're afraid of, now lets go through them one by one and see how it would be to not be afraid.
Sylvie, Bilingual Health Educator
there is always a way out. ;)
I know that fear is all-consuming and eats what-ever little reserves of energy you might have had. But When we accept that fear is a part of courage there are solutions beyond...
I am so afraid I really can't function properly. Let's see, what am I afraid of?
1. I'm afraid of not doing anything about my wife.
2. I'm afraid of being alone.
3. I'm afraid of not having enough money.
4. I'm afraid of having a total relapse of depression and other issues.
5. I'm afraid to talk to anyone.
6. I'm afraid to live.
7. I'm afraid that I will get fired.
8. I'm afraid of the future.
9. I'm afraid of losing control.
10. I'm afraid that my only friend wants to be more than friends.
11. I'm afraid to go home.
12. I'm afraid that my children will turn out to be losers like me.
13. I'm afraid that my sole purpose of existence is to suffer and to feel pain.
14. I'm afraid that there's no way out.