hi gabs,
I do not see where you would be a faileur. You tried a new medication and your body rejected it. You need a medication and the old one was not "bad" (like alcohol would be).
If you were allergic to penicillin, would you be a faileur?
I agree that the old line "pull yourself together" hurts. Been there - felt that. But I have already used it in my young and ignornant days. I thought my father a hopeless faileur for not treating his bi-polar disorder and for not coming back to me. I was young in years, I was young in knowledge. I was young in experience. and your partner? Does you partner have any experience with a mental illness/disorder/problem?
I think the "pull yourself together" comes from a long ago time when depression was not an illness. !?! I mean that people did not know what depression was, did not know what caused it AND DID NOT HAVE ANY RESOURCES TO HELP IT! It comes from a last resort ... to want to help and have no idea how. almost a plea, "please show me what to do to make you better beacause from the outside it looks like you are falling apart inside and I do not have access there"