Stressedout-- I clicked on this thread expecting to learn about how "breakdowns at work help"--then I realized it's almost 1 a.m., my brain is fried, & I'm going to sign off & go to bed. nighty night! f.

I completely understand this too! This is such a difficult experience. I empathize with your situation. eeks mentions a law in Ontario regarding making accommodations for people with disabilities, the US has a similar law (American with Disabilities Act or ADA)that requires employers to allow reasonable accommodations for employees as long as they do not put the employer in hardship of some sort. In the case of depression this might mean a more flexible work schedule, quieter/private work area, and/or more frequent breaks. This means you must disclose your situation, your "disability" to a supervisor or human resources personal. I would caution you that (at least in the states) there can be a catch 22- employers often find the employee is not "disabled" enough to fall under the guidelines of the ADA yet are too "disabled" to perform the job. There is legislation in progress to correct this catch but, until that passes (if and when it does) this is what we have. Good luck! we are here for you!!!

Stressedout, If you tripped and twisted your ankle at work and pulled a tendon and couldn't work because of the pain, and you started crying from the pain, why can't you just start crying at work and say that you're having a crappy day, that you are a sufferer from depression ( next day you could hand out a one-page sheet to co-workers with a readable explanation of MDD so that they could get a modicum of education on the subject...) and that the crying is a symptom of a chemical crash which will pass? I'm not making light of this but when I first came to Canada in the 70s I got a job as a specialty steels salesman and the foreman in the warehouse was in the middle of an MDD cycle and he would sit at his desk and cry and cry in between showing me where the 3inch stainless tubing was in the racks. He actually explained to me through his tears that he was having a depression bout and that it entailed crying and fatigue but he, nevertheless, managed to show me everything I needed to know about specialty steels. I admired that man and I said that I'd never be afraid to "be" what was happening to me in terms of MDD but that I would try hard to explain it to anybody who was standing slack-jawed in front of me, looking at me wring my hands and grind my teeth and holding my head in my hands and sometimes crying. You know, the ones who don't "get" it are always the people I have no time for anyway... don't encourage 'thickness' in others - say and do it like it is. As Lady Tuberstalkington said at the Battle of Waterloo " Get real!"

Stressed....I completely and 100% understand. I am an IT professional and I get less respect with 2 years experience than most interns in my workplace. Hang in there though, we're all in this together!

I cry a lot on the job too. Most of the time I can find a place to hide before anyone sees me.

Hi everyone, Interesting discussion. Ava wisely mentioned breathing techniques. I will copy a post below with a sample of how to do these. DEEP BREATHING: 1) Take a slow deep breath in through your nose to the slow count of five. Push your tummy out at the same time. 2) Slowly breathe out through your mouth to the count of 7. 3) Repeat this 3 times, as you feel yourself relaxing and the stress dropping away. TENSION RELEASING: 1) Let go of the tension in your neck and shoulders. 2) Let go of the tension in your jaw. 3) Focus completely on your breathing, nothing else. 4) As you exhale, let your shoulders drop and let your body sink into wherever you are. 5)Repeat this until you feel relaxed and centered. Casey ____________________________ The DC Support Team

stressed: You have asked a really important question, and one that people clearly have strong feelings about, for good reason. We all deserve respect in our work. I am not sure if you get breaks, but a walk sounds like a great idea (I may try it). I also think simple things like your physical environment matters. Can you arrange your desk, counter, physical space to add some space that feels secure for you? I think a good lunch matters too, all that diet and the mind stuff has some value, so perhaps take care of yourself that way. Have you tried any breathing techniques? They do them later on in this program so you'll find them here. If you can take a yoga class - even one - they will show you some great methods there. Careful breathing can do wonders for you, especially at stressful moments. And also eeks makes a good point in saying that this kind of issue is never one-sided. The others involved in the situation may not be handling it very well either. If you frame the challenge as finding patience for their lack of skill, could that help? And that way you can feel you're developing better people skills yourself through your patience. Good luck with the job search, you're right that it's a big part of our lives. Ava

Hmm....when I cut and paste, it got rid of all my contractions. So if it says Dont....it really means "Don't". Ive = I've. I'm kind of a perfectionist that way.

Hi Stressedout and Josie, This issue is a lot more complicated, in my opinion, than keeping lists and staying organized. Many, many workplaces are simply not healthy environments for depressed people. People are downright cruel when to do so is rarely if ever justified in the circumstances. They'd get better results by asking and working WITH, than demanding and doing TO, but try and tell that to your average manager with no training in mentorship skills, let alone how to deal with people with mood disorders. Even if the stuff they say is not true, when you are depressed YOU BELIEVE IT ANYWAY. Frankly sometimes I wonder if the ones who are capable of taking this kind of emotional abuse aren't the ones with the mental illness!! A couple of points. 1) Heres the catch-22. When you are in the wrong job, you get depressed. When you are depressed, your work performance often decreases as a result, affecting your ability to get a good reference for your next job. EVEN THOUGH poor performance in a job youre not suited to has, in my opinion, no relevance to how well you will do at a job that suits your skills and personality, it seems the recruitment community is still under the Paleolithic delusion that there are two kinds of people, Motivated and Unmotivated, and motivation is an independent trait that has nothing to do with whether you like what you are doing! 2) As I said, when you are depressed, your work performance suffers. When your work performance suffers, managers do not think Oh, this person is faltering, I should ask her what we can do to help her maximize her potential, they think Crack the whip! Threaten and criticize until she shapes up. Its entirely her responsibility to improve. And I dont know about you, but after Ive had all my shortcomings pointed out to me in this way, I dont exactly feel like I deserve any help or support from my manager. They dont initiate the offer to help, I dont feel like I deserve any help, so I dont ask. I live in Ontario. We have a law called the Ontario Human Rights Code by which employers cannot discriminate in employment because of mental illness, and are obligated to make reasonable accommodations for employees except where to do so would cause undue hardship to the employer.

Stressed, It is great to see that you are working with the program. This will help you through. You need to also challenge those thoughts and push forward. Try and get organized and make lots of lists. This will help you keep on top of things and get your job done. Concentrate on you and your job and take some you time during the day. If you are entitled to a break, go for a brisk walk to energize you and clear your head. Keep Strong, Josie ____________________________________ The Depression Center Support Team.