I know those feelings so well - the uncontrollable crying and despair usually hit me at night - wakeful in the wee hours. Then sometimes it hits driving to work - no reason - just feeling like an "alien" - like I don't belong on this earth and the tears just flow. I can usually control it at work, and I'm lucky to work in a very supportive environment. Meds so far don't help a lot; when the do I get angry because they take away the little bit of relief and joy I feel when walking on my mountain or taking my photographs or playing with my cats. And I can't stand not to have any joy - I think I'd rather have the tears and some little bits of joy than the flat, nothing.... Although sometimes I'm not sure. A long way around to say that you are not alone - most often that may not help a bit, but if it does it was worth writing. My thoughts and love are with you.
