Hi Gabbi,
I am sorry to hear that you are not doing well. I know you are a strong person and you will get better soon. Aree you been looking for another house? Things here have been going great. I went on a long bus ride and did some Xmas shopping. It feels so good to get outside. I am still playing netball. I even get to go out in the snow. It has been snowing here ever so lightly for the past 2 days and it will continue for a few days more. Today I went to downstown Vancouver and a train, had coffee with a friend and lunch with another friend. I felt so good. The only thing I didn't like was lying to people that I saw as to why I was off work. Since I had major surgery on my elbow in May I used that as an excuse. I really don't like lying as I feel that it makes me fall back into my old self.
Have your kids written a letter to Santa yet? My kids have and the gifts are getting more expensive each year.
Take care and I hope you are doing better soon.
Here one big hug from me to you - Sharon
Hi Sharon how did you go with your xmas shopping?I hope you are feeling better are you still playing netball?I was suppose to play wednesday night but my husband didnt bother coming home till almost midnight so i had to take the kids with me and i only played one quarter cause my youngest who is 1yr old is very shy and she started crying and my teammate that was sitting with the kids couldnt calm her down so i came off and didnt play the rest of the game which upset me cause i think i go out for 1 hour a week to play netball and he couldnt even make i home to look after the kids for me.Not in a nice place at the moment but tomorrow is another day.Hope all is well with you.Gabbi.
Hey Sharon! thanks for all your kind words. i am glad i could be a help to you, you have done the same for me. i will try to stay positive like you said. i have been depressed before and i got through it now that my depression is back i was in denial for a while now i am accepting that im back in that ugly dark place again me accepting it is making it worse because its a huge setback for me but atleast now i am coming to terms with it and i plan on seeing a doctor and going back on antidepressants again. im really dissapointed in myself right now for ending up in this dark hole again. im sure even after i get better again it will probably occur again in some other later time in life. next time i will plan for it and be better prepared i wont try and pretend everything is fine and just hope it goes away because that didnt work for me this time and it got much worse. i am glad things are improving for you. i could tell from your posts that you have come a long way. congradulations Sharon. good luck with all of your goals. and take care. Hugs. Kat
Thanks Kat.
Please remember you do have family right here. If you ever want to talk or just vent let me know. You have been a great help and I hope I can be the same for you. Things here are improving. I am feeling a little bit of hope. I am trying to look forward to going back to work. I know that it will be hard to go back as I have been away for so long, but that my nervousness will pass.
Try to think positive thoughts and know that tomorrow is a new day which will bring its challenges but you will overcome theme. I have faith in you and know that you are a strong person and that we will look back on this time and realize we are now stronger and in a better place emotionally.
Sharon
Hey Sharon, how was your day? as for me it was crappy as usual.i am in your corner like you said, i really am on your side and you will find that everything will work out you will see that.im sorry you cant see your family cause they live far and that really sucks. but just know that they care and they are there for you . i have no family support i have noone my mom is a weirdo my dad just got out of prison i have no relatives either plus the only family i have(my sister is a mean person shes all"your a hermit(cause i cant go out cause i have agoraphobia) shes all you cant go nowhere with out your shell (my home) my husbands even worse. so i have no support just be happy you have the love of your family because it is hard having to go through this crap alone it hurts so much. i really do wish you could be with your family for christmas it sucks not having support when your depressed. as for me im scared because i am such a slave to my depression and i try to be all optomistic but its hard i just want it to go away. i know how terrible it feels and like i said on a bunch of my other posts i am so happy you have been getting out. its really hard and i dont know you but im really proud of you because it is so hard. i hope the best for you Sharon you seem like a really sweet person and i know you will be happy cause you are a strong person. take care Sharon and if you ever want to talk know that i am here for you.Kat
Thanks Kat. It is always nice to have someone in your corner who believes in you especially since I don't believe in myself. Today I have tried to keep occupied by writing Xmas cards. Xmas is always a really hard time of year for me as my family is in Australia and I miss them so much. I was supposed to go back there this Xmas but had to cancel my trip because of my illness. Hopefully I can get back there next year.
Thanks once again,
Sharon
Hi Sharon, im sorry about not writing sooner. im sorry your feeling so terrible right now. i told you last time how happy i was that you were getting out more. ive had no luck with that at all. you are accomplishing so much and thats great that you going back to work. just yesterday a friend told me i should go back to work and then i will feel better. and dont think your stupid your are a stong smart woman and you will get through this. try and stay optomistic and know that things will work out. you will get through this. Kat
Thanks Batty. I feel a huge amount of pressure. I have been able to go outside more now and I feel that I need to show people that I am getting better. I have also decided to go back to work in January and I am feeling the pressure of this decision. I don't want to make the wrong decision and end up going backwards. None of my family or friends understand what I am going through and how pressured I feel. They think that I feel great all the time. I still put on a brave face when I am around people. I am still struggling with doing what is best for me. I still try and make everyone else feel good and I so desperately want everyone to like me and think that I am smart, even though I feel so stupid all the time.
Thanks once again,
Sharon
sharon
im here. sorry no one responded sooner. it must be the holidays. can you talk more about how you are feeling? im hoping you can open up and express yourself instead of turning inwards. i tend to do that alot and i would hate to see someone else do it. so if i can be a shoulder to lean on please feel free. you arent alone. many many people teeder back and forth. you arent alone. so, im here for you to chat anytime. big hug.
batty
I have been feeling really good for the past couple of weeks but yesterday I started to feel bad and by the end of the day I was crying and feeling really depressed. This morning I feel een worse. I just want to crawl in a hole and die. I don't know why I went downhill and why it happened so fast. Is this normal to go from an 7 out of ten to a 2 out of ten in one day?
Sharon
