Hi Bob and Jenn,
Why are we always willing to blame ourselves so quickly? Here is something I heard that might put a different and more appreciated view on social phobia. What if....people that get overwelmed by other people are just very sensitive people. What if these people are so sensitive that they pick up the emotions of the people around them?? I think it was Ladyblue who mentioned that before and I think she is right in that. I can not be in a mall for very long. The impressions, the sounds, the emotions, they get too much for me after a while. If I stay beyond my balance, I will leave completely in a panic, crying and upset. So, why would I force myself into situations like that? That does not mean I need some type of therapy so that I can force myself beyond my limitations, but it may mean that I need therapy for accepting that I get that around people, that that is a part of me and that that is okay. We all have different feelings of balance at different times during the day or week or year. Getting in touch with yourself gives you the opportunity to feel your balance and than feel when you are getting out of balance. When I feel I get out of balance, I withdraw from the situation. That can mean I withdraw from social life for a few weeks and I do not mean physically perse, since we all need to go to work. But I do build a border and people are not allowed to cross. What people think of that.....oh well, that has become so irrelevant to me. It more important what I think of that. Jenn, you do not have to be hugged if you do not want to be hugged. You have the right to withdraw from that kind of activity and still enjoy going to church.
By the way, Bob.....having people live with you for a few weeks during the summer, sounds awful to me. How about booking them a nice hotelroom in town, that way you can still enjoy their company without going over your limitations.