with regards to prayer and God... i try to accept that bad things happen to good people and vice versa. we all suffer losses. I lost a daughter. my nephew just escaped from a drug overdose. life is fickle...its a coin toss everyday. sometimes it works out. sometimes it doesn't. i have to learn how to deal with that. i also have to learn to deal with family members dealing with the day to day problems. i pray to God to help me face my problems, not to necessarily solve my problems. perhaps God can help me see a positive side to things. i am not really obsessed or very knowledgable about such concepts, but its something that i am exploring. i have in the past attended some nice prayer/non-judgemental bible study groups that made me feel good. i am however very wary of organized relegion and someone preaching at me from a pulpit. millions of people find solace in relegion. there may be some wisdom there. perhaps its a matter of how we interact with it. thanks for replying to my message. i enjoyed your comments

religion...wow..god..i don't really know what to say about that which brings me to wondering why i wanted to reply to you?...i guess apart of me really wants to believe. it's just been really hard you know? i mean i stopped praying 4 years ago when my a good friend was in a accident.i prayed for a week straight from the moment i woke up to the sleepless nights in the hospitol i even went to the chapel hoping if i were closer it would help?..but it didn't and in my time of need and despiration my prayers went unanswered and her life was taken 2 weeks before she was to graduate. if my prayers couldnt be heard then what makes me think if i prayed now for myself to be better that it would be any diff.? now i will admit in my darkest hour i have called out to him to help me, but i know he's not listening...and apart of me even wonders if there even is...well i also know i won't be heard because i haven't been faithfull. i suppose this question of religion for me is so uneasy b/c of the religious upbringing i had. i'am not going to say any one spacific , but i will say it was very strict.and even at such a young age i knew i did not belong and everyone knew i was diff. thats why the mothers told there kids to stay away b/c i was evil, but i tried not to let it phase me and just thought when the time came for me to make my own decisions i won't have to be here anymore. of course it was a little diff. then with more kicking and screaming but i was only a child and that was my only way of trying to get through how much i disliked it...ok now i'am babbling sorry i tend to do that its my writing once i start it's hard to stop, yet it's the opposite with my verbal communication. anyway, i've heard alot of people speak of god and praying..and they say just pray..well if only it were so easy. how do hope for so much when you feel none what so ever? its like telling a person that's standing on top of a building ready to jump to just pray? well i'am sorry but when your on that ledge praying is going to be the last thing on there mind? it's a little late for that. thats when you've lost all hope and what you need not short from a miracle is well...a miracle...i was going to say someone to help you etc. etc. but i've learned recently you can't really depend on those around yo

hi i would like to explore a few insights. perhaps you can share your thoughts and give me some feedback. my concept of prayer develops somewhat from therapy. often the therapist says very little. he listens to the patient talk. if we go to a social gathering and people listen to what we say -- if they affirm what we are saying and compliment us on what we say, we leave feeling good. prayer i think works in a similar fashion (as does a diary or a message board such as this one) when i pray, i don't analize God. i just accept that i am talking to a loving God, who cares about me, who listens to me. its like talking to a friend, a parent, a therapist. Trust God. Be honest. see what happens. worst of all, you will be bored. sometimes prayer helps me. sometimes i don't seem to connect with it. perhaps i am not focused enough. any comments thanks