Hi, guess that i have similar experience to certain extent before. Previously i resigned from a wonderful job due to depression. I had always thought that maybe the job itself is the problem, or maybe i am not in a healthy state for a job till my depression gets better. I thought maybe given little more time, less stress from job, maybe given myself a short jobless vacation, then i can on a full-time healing from my depression. I thought all i need is a pause from my daily life, my social life, then i can somehow hibernate at home and get myself cured. But i can tell you now that those are lies spoken from depression itself which makes it so believable to be workable during our 'downs'. Please remember one thing: when we are depress, we can no longer trust our own judgement, especially those towards negative side (or then can we just differentiate between positive and negative thoughts?). During our down episodes, we can turn everything good to bad just by our mind alone. Someone who care can become someone who better mind their own business, a good job can be turned into working in hell. That's the magic of depression! People always say that we better not make some life changing decision when we are clouded by depression. I guess it's true somehow. The good thing about working is it puts an agenda into your daily life and force you to step back into reality, meeting people (which a vital step for recovery). It can be tiring and forceful given the voice we often heard from our depressive mind that we better cut contact with people and nothing is meaningful anymore. Well, we have to fight the voice away with not only enough courage, but most importantly, enough patience and faith. I know it is easier said than done when after all, everything just seem meaningless. Well, then let's stop asking for meaning and purpose of things for a while. Let's stop giving yourself reason to work or quit working. Everytime you wake up, go to work for the sake of it, don't ask. Just do it, and in time you'll see. But of course, medication is important. Hope sharing my thoughts can liften some burden of yours :)
