Hi,
When I was on Paxil I felt blank most of the time like I wasn't part of the world around me. I was on it for quite a while before my doctor switched me to Wellbutrin which allowed me to have a much greater range of emotion where on the Paxil, I didn't feel anything good or bad. But that's just me. Everyone reacts differently to medications.
I have also done what you have done, off and on. My arm is just healed from my last episode. I don't want to do it anymore but I know what you mean, sometimes I feel like I would do anything to stop the way I feel inside and the outside pain does that, as twisted as that sounds.
I don't know if it helps but you aren't alone. There are an awful lot of us out here. Hang in there!
