Miriam, Thank you for sharing your story. You have come to the right place! Please feel free to roam the site at your own pace. If you look to the left of the screen under "TOOLS" you will find our Depression Test. This test is not a diagnostic tool and is not a replacement or substitute for a physician's advice. The purpose of these tests is to prepare you with information that you can present to your physician. When you're finished the test, you can either print your Final Report or email it directly to your doctor. This may help better assess and clarify the situation for you and your doctor. Our online support group is very knowledgeable and supportive and they can be of great assistance to you. Please take it day by day and come here for support. If you have any question or concerns with our site or please contact Support Department at support@depressioncenter.net. We are open to any questions or concerns you may have. Looking forward to hearing from you soon! Josie ___________________________________ The Depression Center Support Team.

I am also a newby and my name is Miriam. My Mom died when I was 11 and my dad couldn't raise me and I was raised by an aunt and uncle (my mom's brother) who only wanted me to get his hands on the money my mom had left me. I was a real Cinderella, he molested me, beat me and always told me I had more luck than brains. His married daughter and her family also lived in the same house as us. His wife and my Mom had been very close but she had leukemia and I think she just couldn't deal with the situation as she was so ill. I got married to a nice guy who turned out to be a nut, he had a breakdown when we were married 4 years (it will be 39 years on Sunday--got help me) and life has been hell nonstop. Originally he was diagnosed as being bipolar. However, I supported him everyway I could. My husband's breakdown was due to the stress caused by his mother who wanted us to support him. She was very, very jealous of us and wanted to be treated like a wife and caused us unbelievable problems. Life with my husband has been hell except for the beautiful daughter we have who is 32. But she is not able to give me the support I desperately need and that is a tremendous disappointment to me. I won't go into what life has been with him in details now but life with my husband has been hell. We declared bankruptcy a few years ago and then he had to go on disability because he is a bad (irresponsible) diabetic and couldn't work any longer. The industry he was in dried up in the USA because President Clinton signed a deal with Mexico and Canada and it destroyed the entire garment industry in the U.S. So here we are at ages 61 and 63 sruggling to exist. I have major, major aggravation at my job. I am a cncierge in an adult community. I run the place, the residents love me beyond belief (and I feel the same towards most of them) but my boss and the dirty politics and unfairness there is eating me up alive. My husband is a political activist in our community (one of those deed restricted developments) and this is what keeps him going. But he destroys my house and it is the biggest pig stye in the world. I work 6 days a week and I don't have the strength to clean the place up, I am too depressed. For a man who can take 4 showers a day, he loves to l

Dear Elswick, I have been struggling with the big D as well, for about 2 1/2 years. I am 51 years old, going through peri-menopause (which only made things worse but better now), and almost lost one of my three sons 3 1/2 years ago. After being in the hospital in a coma for 3 weeks then a rehab clinic for 2 months (hospitalized totally 3 months) to aid him in relearning everything from walking & talking to feeding and everyday things that we all take for granted. He was 24 at the time with a wife and two boys 2 1/2 and 3 1/2. It was a long year after his rehab and getting their lives back to a normal life and once I knew they were pretty much OK then that is when I fell apart, crying every day and not being able to feel joy at all. I would be driving along and not be thinking of anything in particular and I would just start balling my eyes out or be making my excuses not to go to a birthday dinner for one of my friends and just start crying then and there. It was bad so I went to the Drs. and they put me on wellbutrin which made me feel worse so then I went to a specialist and he put me on Lexapro which worked for about a year, then just stopped working. He then put me on cymbalta and that worked sorta but I was still having a hard time whenever I started a period or was supposed to start so then he added lamictal and that did the trick--no more mood swings for about two months now so I will keep my fingers crossed that this will contiune. I have a family history as well, with lots of bi-polar, anxiety disorders, depression and similar going back to my great-grandmother and grandmother who I am sure if they had the knowledge of today, then, they would have been on some meds too. One thing I would like to tell you is to go to Catholic Charities and inquire about counciling (SP??) with them. You do not have to be catholic and they only charge you what you can afford. I went there when I was a single parent years ago with my oldest son--helped a great deal.....Thank you for sharing your story. Especially liked hearing about the lady with lupus--isn't it sooo terrible how when someone is told that you have Depression they do not understand when you tell them "I can't do the dishes and I can't go to take a walk or go to the gym even though I know I should and i

elswick, Thank you for sharing your story. Our online support group can be of great assistance to you. These individuals are supportive and knowledgeable. It is great to see you are starting with the depression diary. This a wonderful tool to assist you with your depression. If you look to the left of the screen under "TOOLS" you will also find our Depression Test. This test is not a diagnostic tool and is not a replacement or substitute for a physician's advice. The purpose of these tests is to prepare you with information that you can present to your physician. When you're finished the test, you can either print your Final Report or email it directly to your doctor. It may also help better assess the situation. If you have any question or concerns with our site or please contact Support Department at support@depressioncenter.net. We are open to any questions or concerns you may have. Josie ___________________________________ The Depression Center Support Team.

I can certainly relate to your frustration. It sounds like you've got more than your share with which to cope. My son is in the military too, not in a combat area (thank the Lord) but he is an engineer in explosives ordinance which frequently puts him in harm's way. It's not the same as Iraq, I know, but I have an idea of the stress you must be feeling regarding your child. I'm sorry you haven't been able to get into some "talk therapy". That's what really made the difference for me. Maybe staying connected on message boards like this one can help until you can get some professional feedback. Have you investigated your meds on the internet? There are always new ones coming out. Right now I am on a combination of two antidepressants and an anti-anxiety medication and I do feel sleepy much of the time so with your narcolepsy, I can see how difficult it must be to come up with the right combination. I wish there were more I could say to comfort you, but I think you're right to focus on your beautiful little grandchild. It sounds like she needs you right now and loves you just the way you are. Kids are smart you know. She obviously sees something in you that you aren't able to appreciate in yourself. And as far as those that criticize you, try to tune them out. You're absolutely right to get things done when you have the energy to tackle them. (By the way, if your ex-husband lives with you, has it ever occurred to him that he could do the dishes once in a while?) Whoops, that's none of my business I guess. Well, take care and don't give up.

Hello to everyone here. I am not even sure where to begin. Depression has been a part of my life as long as I can remember. It runs in both sides of my family. For the most part I have handled it on my own up until a few years ago. Been on a downward spiral every since. I have suffered depression due to common problems such as break ups, divorces, loss of a baby, miscarriages, deaths, son being in Iraq (19 yrs old, and there now,loss of a job and so on. Then health problems in addition to the above has made my life a living Hell! My medical problems....thyroid (of course a major depression factor), Narcolepsy, arthritis and I don't know what else. Going through the ssdi procedure now. My dx as of today are hypothyroidism, narcolepsy nd major depression. The doc I am seeing now was shocked to see that I have almost been on every kind of antidepressant known and with no success. It's tough to find just the right cocktail for all the above. I hate all meds and the nasty side effects, especially all stims needed to stay awake. I rarely have a day where I have any energy and when I am able to force myself to do something, I am fighting the microsleeps caused by narcolepsy. I am always tired and sleepy!!!! I am 38 and feeling like a 90 yr old woman. I can't even go grocery shop alone. I am fortunate enough to get to watch my grandaughter through the week (she is 2), yet at the same time, I constantly feel guilty because I don't have the energy to play and be active with her like she needs. To top it off, I can't watch her and do anything in this house. I do make sure 98% of the time she gets her bath, but many days I do withouth because I can't get the energy needed. (and I cant stand to go without a bath or shower) Anyway I constantly am wishing I would just die. The only thing that has prevented me from taking care of this is my grandaughter. She is the only thing in this ****py world that makes me smile, yet I feel she deserves better than me. Her parents are not very good with her (and divorced), and want to do everything in my power to protect her. Lately though, I have been unable to hold in my crying in front of her. She hates to see anyone cry. lol, she will try to smack a tear off your cheek. My house stays a pig sty