D -- it's Karen, my e-mail address is ohms4@aol.com. Please e-mail me soon as poss. Your situation sounds so similar to mine -- it would be fun to e-mail each other don't you think? Thanks! Even though I am depressed I somehow have the best sence of humor which generally cheers people up.

Hi Dealia, I just wanted to say you are not alone. I know how you feel about what depression does to the thought process because it did it to me too. I have been dealing with diagnosed depression for about 4 years now and even tho medication and treatment helped a lot, I had to give up my nursing job--I was an RN working on a medical/oncology floor for 15 years, because I can't concentrate well enough to multi-task anymore--plus the stress was just too much. Then we had to make a major move recently for my husband's job and the depression flared up again, bigtime--so I had to find a new treatment team, etc. But I did, and now I am starting to feel better. I agree with Karen about staying on medication, etc-- and I would add that I think it is very important to have a psychiatrist for medication prescribing especially if you are dealing with recurrent depression. My family doctor (both at my old location and my new family doctor)are understanding and supportive and honest enough to say they don't have the background to prescribe for people with anykind of complex depression. If you have had more than one episode--it is a complex depression. If you are having thoughts about hurting yourself Please please please, get help right away--call the numbers the moderator suggested or call your therapist or the psychiatrist you will be seeing and tell them about it--don't wait until that symptom gets worse. By this I mean call them and tell them you are thinking of suicide, don't just say you are feeling depressed--its the suicidal thoughts that need rapid treatment. I try to think about depression like any other kind of illness, just like a diabetic would need immediate help if her blood sugar was over 500, you need immediate help if you are having suicidal thoughts. Let us know how things are going for you.

hello karen thank you for the reply I've been on the Paxil since Jan 14th.I do know it takes awhile to work , like I said I have been through this so many times before. This episode was a bit different it started out with severe panic or anxiety attacks, this is the reason my doctor gave me the Paxil to take. It just seem so hopless right now. There is no light at the end of tunnel. Every time I get an episode of depression it seem to take longer to get better. My last episode was 2 1/2yrs ago. I know it is something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life , but it just takes so much out of me. What is your email address?

Hello Dealia, My name is Karen and you can e-mail me ANYTIME. I know A LOT about depression and I understand EXACTLY what you are talking about when you describe your feelings. Here's some tips to help you get through this: 1) What you are feeling (the fog feeling, dead feeling, etc.) are completely NORMAL. That's the way despression makes you feel. Just as a broken leg would give someone pain, depression makes your mind foggy and unable to concentrate, etc., etc. It makes you feel other strange feelings too. Remember -- they are just feelings and nothing more. Try NOT to get anxious or more depressed over feeling depressed. This will only make it worse. Just wait it out -- it will get better. 2) Don't feel bad if you can not work right now and don't feel badly if you can't do other stuff right now either. Depression saps your motivation until the depression lifts. And it WILL lift with the right medication and therapy. I am not working either due to depression -- welcome to the club. Again, just as a person with a broken leg or a broken back could not go to work -- you can't either. And if any of your friends or family don't understand the way you feel educate them on depression -- tell them to read books on the subject or print out information from the internet and make them all read it. 3) Stay on your medication or switch to another one if it is no longer working or if it hasn't helped in 3 months time. 4) Forget about "putting on a happy face" -- no need to. Stand your ground and tell everybody that you are sick and that you have depression and that you feel like **** - and again - shove a book or info from the internet on depression in their faces if they don't get it. In fact - stay away (if you can) from anybody who doesn't understand. I have some friends and family members that understand and some that don't. I do not speak or rarely speak to the ones who don't understand it and spend more time with the one's who DO understand it. 5) Just try to do the things that you can do for now and don't put pressure on yourself to do too much. How long have you been on Paxil by the way?

Hi Dealia, I'm sorry to hear that this episode is a rough one. Although I've only been dealing with (or recognizing) my depression for 1.5 years, I empathize with you. I delt with the same feelings and what drove me crazy was that it wasn't usually myself to feel that way. I have a great wife and wonderful, joyous 9 mnth old son, but many weeks I get strong feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. I've been trying to deligate much of my decision making to others to avoid the frustration that comes with the indeciveness. I'm sure there are many other people whos situation is closer to yours that you can relate to, but meanwhile I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in this confusion to the "fog". Stay focused and positive.

Dealia, You have come to the right place! Please feel free to roam the site at your own pace. If you look to the left of the screen under "TOOLS" you will find our Depression Test. This test is not a diagnostic tool and is not a replacement or substitute for a physician's advice. The purpose of these tests is to prepare you with information that you can present to your physician. When you're finished the test, you can either print your Final Report or email it directly to your doctor. If you have any question or concerns with our site or please contact Support Department at support@depressioncenter.net. We are open to any questions or concerns you may have. Dealia, if you currently are having suicidal ideations, this site may not be suitable for you. The Depression Center was designed to support individuals with Depression. Our Support Specialist are not trained to help individuals who are having suicidal thoughts. If you're thinking about harming yourself please get the help you need by calling your family doctor or call 911 to talk about how you are feeling. Ask a family member or close friend to take you to the nearest emergency room. If you live in the USA, dial directory assistance and ask for a 1-800 suicide hotline or go to http://www.hopeline.com to get contact information for a suicide hotline in your area. We hope you find the help you need! Melanie __________________________________ The Depression Center Support Team

I don't really have anyone who truly understand how I feel so I took the chance and posted here. I don't usually post my problems on sites like this but I need to talk to someone who understands how I feel. I am a 39 yr old Mom of two teenage boys (16 and almost 18). Married to a wonderful man for 17 yrs now. I was diagnosed with depression about 14 yrs ago . My life has been a roller coaster since. I am currently off of work due to another episode of depression. I am taking Paxil CR 25 mg and I am seeing a therapist. I haven't been able to get into to a psychiatrist yet.(I got an appointment for March the 8th) This episode really has taken alot out of me . I feel as though I am living in a fog. I am caught somewhere in between the living and the dead. My body is here, but my mind is somewhere else. I can't concentrate on anything and making any decisions seem to take me forever. The thought of suicide has crossed my mind ,but I don't know if I could follow through with it.I am tired of putting on a happy face when I am so miserable inside. I would apprecitate any feedback.