ffl your story has moved me and helped me. i was diagnosed with clinical depression 4 years ago. i cant imagine what feelings you have gone through all these years, i know what you mean about people handleing things with ease. i use to think i was crazy, but i know im not. your story can help others, just to know that you have survived is very inspireing. by the way, i have 2 cats, both boys and they help me too. god bless you. :)

FFL: Last night I couldn't get you out of my mind. I kept thinking about you and your story over and over. Again, I am absolutely amazed at the things you have been through and overcome. I know what it's like being "sensitive". Everytime something happens, my feelings amplify times 10! I wish I could comfort you and just listen to you. I have 3 cats (1 boy & 2 girls), all rescued and they love me no matter what! I wish humans could give me that kind of love. Man, I sure wish I was a cat right now. K

KittyKat: 1st, I like your Nickname. I like Kitty Cats. I have 2, a boy & a girl. Next, thank you for yor post. Relationship stuff is hard for me. I agree, some seem to drift in & out without any visible trauma. I am a sensitive person, anything to do with feelings is magnified. I will keep coming back . . . . . . . :confuse: FFL

I have absolutley no words to say how much your story touched me, its given me hope, if someone can go through that and come out the other side then i can aswell. Thankyou for your honesty xxx

Barbara: Thank you for your reply. Although I know it to be true, it is hard to trudge and toil only for it to swirl away when the next bout knocks me down. Occurrences in daily life most people handle with ease tend to send me off into my own little world. I just want the pain to stop, or at least ease up a little. FFL

Dear FFL: Your story moved me to tears. I don't know what words to use to give you hope. You've probably heard them all. I do know depression, I live it everyday. I also live in fear that I too will spiral out of control. You found consistancy in your work and your studies. Go back to them. Though they wont keep you warm at night, they do give you a level of control. Plod on until you get to a level of normalcy that you like. You will find companionship and you will begin to accept yourself again.

FFL, Oh my how your story has touched my soul. I also applaud you for everything you have gone through in your life. More than me, that is for sure. I can't understand at your level the drug use, but I do understand the depression and the rejection. I often wonder how people move in and out of relationship so easily, while it takes me what seems like forever to move on, if actually ever moving on. I hope you continue to write & post as you are really a huge inspiration to me. Thank you for your honesty & trusting us with your story. Again, you have touched me. Kitty

FFl, Thank you for sharing your story. Please feel free to browse around the site. There is a lot of useful knowledge and reading for you. Please continue to post with our online support group. These individuals are supportive and knowledgeable and are here to help one another. You have the knowledge to help others, and they can learn from your experiences. You can work through your depression, step by step. There is plenty of time and your life is still full of wonderful events and people waiting to be uncovered. Keep Strong, Josie ___________________________________ The Depression Center Support Team.

font=Comic Sans MS]My Story………… Addict, Dysthymic & Tired Part I – The Recovery I have a lot of empathy and compassion for people. I no longer look at the less fortunate with a sense that somehow they are at fault and responsible for their troubles. Nobody as a little boy or girl wants to grow up to be derelict and bankrupt in every aspect of life; morally, spiritually and physically, but it happens. These people are someone’s son, daughter, brother, wife, mother or father. They were once innocent children who for some reason grew to adulthood feeling that living life on life’s terms was too hard. They chose to live a life of addiction. I went down that road myself and unlike many, I survived. I moved to Western Washington in 1980 from my hometown. A little town on the east slopes of the Cascade Mountains. In 1981 I landed a job with an office equipment company; where I worked the next eleven years. I was good at what I did. I liked working for commission instead of punching a clock. It appealed to my independent nature. During this time I got married, raised step daughters, bought a house and was by all outside appearances living the dream, yet I was depressed and unhappy. My wife and I separated in 1989 and were eventually divorced in 1992. I was drinking a lot at this time. By the end of the year I lost the job and had to sell the house. I worked for a few companies through 1994 and finally could work no longer. I was not to work again for the next ten years. The next eight years were ugly. I became lost; no purpose. I became a Heroin addict. I destroyed dreams and said good-bye to uncountable golden opportunities. I was in and out of treatment centers, hospitals, psychiatric units and jails. I was diagnosed Dysthymic with Major Recurring Depression, declared mentally incompetent to work and put on Social Security in 1997. Sentenced to county jail for six months, court ordered to inpatient treatment for another six months; I was locked up all of 1998. In treatment I met up with a girl. I lived with her and her little boy until 2002. She was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Oh My God! What a pair we were. We were using drugs daily; vacillating between wanting to die and wanting to quit. It was a s