darkwall keep posting we are here for you and believe me your not alone out there. :)

Hey there, You are in no way alone and i empathize with you. I felt the same way about my story that it seemed petty but no one is judging you on that at all. This is a place of support and no one will criticise anyone for the simple fact that it doesnt matter what life has thrown at you and what you have gone through to be here, The truth is that we ALL FEEL THE SAME I have got to see my councellor tonight, im bricking it i didnt sleep a wink last night (see im a councelling virgin) me and ,y fiance had a massive argument so I ran straight into the kitchen then we had another row. You have got to hold onto the hope that things can and will get better maybe if you talk to your doctor, not about medication but about some support groups or something like that he can recommend things to you. My doctors quite useless so i have found that if i carry a note pad round with me always i can write down my thoughts and feelings as a way of venting them. Also i found that reading books can help, I can recommend a really heart endering sucess story theres three books in total and believe me you have to read them all, A boy called It, The Lost Boy and A Man named Dave. By David Pelzer, I Cried, Raved, was physically sick but the trauma that man went through gives hope to everyone. Please reply let me know if you read it or if you want to talk some more my thoughts are with you ...starr xxx Edited on 12/15/2004 @ 9:24:09 AM by The Support Team

DarkWall, Welcome to the site. You have come to the right place. You will find much encouragement and support is available from your fellow members as you share your feelings and experiences. Be sure to post often and let us know how everything is going. Please feel free to roam the site at your own pace. If you look to the left of the screen under "TOOLS" you will find our Depression Test. This test is not a diagnostic tool and is not a replacement or substitute for a physician's advice. The purpose of these tests is to prepare you with information that you can present to your physician. When you're finished the test, you can either print your Final Report or email it directly to your doctor. If you have any question or concerns with our site or please contact Support Department at support@depressioncenter.net. We are open to any questions or concerns you may have. Looking forward to hearing from you soon! Angela __________________________________ The Depression Center Support Team

I have read your posts and just do wish to let you know that you are not all alone. Kenny

lol sorry again be a bother again, but i have many hours by myself, with many thoughts. And untill someone posts/dosnt post, i have the illusion that someone might care, other then the standard blank form that i would expect people would reply with to save time. I know im depressed because i have grown up with extreme negitivity surrounding myself, inplace of love, from family, or elsewhere. And im sure someone out there would tell me that i should get on medication. No. That is 100% against my every fiber of being i am. Im stubbern. And it makes me sooooooo Hoplessly mad that there are people who are in the same boat as myself. I know for sure that I am waiting to meet one of those people, and together we will be our own strength. Too bad there isnt a connection for for "us people" to meet. Some people looking for the one thing they never had, and desire most. To be loved, and to love back. Again, i am humbled by the people here who have had such obvious problems in their lives (and i dont meen to be insulting), and I guess that is one thing i have longed for; an obvious reason to be depressed. Then i can tell people why, and they would understand. Good night thanks for reading my book. Edited on 12/14/2004 @ 10:47:24 AM by The Support Team

There doesnt seem to be an edit button, so i shall just add a quick reply. I guess since i plan to be a regular here, i should give my story. For which reasons I dont know, as a child (8yrs old), I thought and pondered as strongly as i do now, albit lacking the same knowledge. This lead me to great strife with my parents, and I never realy build up a emotional bond to them at all. At 14 I was in therapy with my mom about (yes literaly) using the washer and dryer. Such bs. The female friend i had known sence 3rd grade, and onward for the next 9 years, was very important to me, and was one of the few i felt emotionaly attached to. On my 16th birthday, I thanked her for her friendship and told her about my depresion about life, and family, but her beliefs wouldnt accept that and I never saw her again. From there i have been completly insecure, living finacly bound to people i hate (and hate myself for hating them). And for the last 6 years i have extreemly depressed over "things" but of real importance, i assure you. The biggest driving force to me is that nobody cares. I have a few friends and lots of family. Im not intrested in telling them the obvious. My room is full of the saddest things ever produced. Basicly it boils down to this: For 21 years i have been without. I need someone to love/count on, and for someone to love myself back. I have been down the darkest roads, and to all that is reading this, that fact gives me my only strength. If im ready to go, untill i do, life is a free-bee. If im done trying to find someone in RL that acutualy cares, and have my collection of knives...until i do, life is fair game, with no long term consequences. And maybe while im waiting, i may find that one person who will save me. Then again...patience, and spelling, are things im not very good at :) . One last thing; a question to all the posters: to me posting on here seems very demorilizing. I read many stories about upright conflict or obvious reasons for depresion. There is no way my stories can compete with compaired to someone who faced rape, or horrible one liners with no other explination needed. It all just seems kind of petty posting here. Thanks for reading my book, and i look forward to any replies.