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i dont like where i am.


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Hi, im am 18 y/o female, i rent a house with friends and work 3 days a week as a web-designer. for the past few years i think i have been depressed. everything from times when im on my own just crying and crying, cutting myself, trying to to eat to keep my figure, finding any reason to hate myself, feeling guilty for things i do that might be a pain to others. i analyse everything i do, and everything i should have done better. and more recently, sleeping all the time and if im not sleeping having no energy even on days i have eaten and slept properly. but the thing that gets to me the most is my life is good circumstancially. i have a good family, a caring b/f, an ok job and i could do almost any career if i put my mind to it. i wish for death because i am so tired of trying to cope, but i couldnt do that to the people who care for me. i feel im not worth the pain. i dont want to burden my family and friends with this so i pretend im ok, and those who iv told once i tell im over it now. but im still here. mel

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