AURA MY EMAIL ADDRESS IS REDCLIFT@LOCALNET.COM

Jana, Yes, I would very much like to e-mail you personally. Mary Jane

Dear Mary Jane (Aura 1112) I'm very pleased that you messaged me. I was busy with baking cookies on Tuesday,etc. and finished redecorating the outside for the holidays on Monday, so today was the first time I was able to get to the computer -- and there you where. I hope you are feeling better. I'm glad you feel that your life is now stabilizing. Stability and securitiy after a divorce is so very important to find. How did you find it. My problem is that I really miss being a mother to the two boys who are now men with their own life and families and live away now. You you cannot go back to those good old days when you were young and your children were small and you and your husband were really in love. I should be doing better than I am. I've been stuck in not growing emotionally for many, many years while on my own. This shows itself especially in my weight. Use to weigh on average 170 lbs for my 5'8" frame but now weigh about 225. My lowest was 149. As you probably know mind-body connection is very important and my emotional downs show this in my weight. I wish there was an answer for this when you compulsively eat at night to calm down and sleep. Even my medication taken at night does not help. My recent depressive episode started with the Thanksgiving holiday. We had 14 family members come, but the space was too small at brother's house and my brother, sister and I did all the preparation, serving and cleanup while the new generation of young adults just sat in the living room interacting with one another and their children -- N one offered to help, and I was totally exhausted when I came home. NEXT YEAR WILL BE DIFFERENT, I CAN PROMISE YOU. Then a few days after Thanksgiving my younger son (26) told me that his brother (36) invited him down for Christmas Eve. I became very depressed about this because my older son did not say anything to me about coming down with my younger son. This incident also set me off to go down hill. Then I got a letter from SS Administration that my disability will be reviewed. I got this letter the day after Thanksgiving and this gave me a real scare as it is the main source of my income. This Christmas year brought me no motivation to decorate as I previously did in years past. Howeve

To Jana, I was sick last week with the flu, and wasn't on the site. Thank you for corresponding with me. Where do you live? I live in Michigan. My mood is a little bit better today. My life is stable although terribly lonely at this time. I'm trying to prepare for enevitable changes however. Looking forward to hearing from you. I hope you're having an all right day, if not a good day. Mary Jane

To all who replied to my message. Thank you. I have been to the doctor this past Tuesday. He put me on Wellbutrin XL which is suppose to be a wonder medication and it helps you lose weight as a small bonus. I'll have to see how it works. I messaged to "Aura-1112" first because I felt we had a lot in common, but she has not messaged back to me or anyone as far as I can tell. During my marriage for about 20 years, I was on top of the world more or less. However, hubby could not keep a job and had 18 jobs in 20 years of marriage. And for these 20 years I had a career in medical records as a manager. However, after doing just about everything in the marriage myself; such as bills, gardening, cleaning and working full time with 2 children, I had my first breakdown. After my divorce and moving back to my home town from the city where I lived, I achieved a degree in social work and welfare. However, then I became disabled and have not been able to work because of my disability and probably because of my age being 58 now. However, my 2 boys which are men now, one a doctor and the other a computer analyst have moved out of town. Therefore, the visit or visiting the older son is sort of "rare". And of course I miss the 2 grandchildren. The younger one comes home about 4 days a month for which I'm grateful, however, I cannot rely on his emotional support because it would not be fair to him. I never discuss my physical or depression problems to the older of the two. However, I discussed my physical and mental state with the younger son because I was so in a state of despair this past week. I try to keep it hidden from all people as much as I can. Depressed people certainly do not invite many friends. Anyway that is more or less of my story with some added circumstances. I'm sure I've given up on life, and I'm sure it was from all the hard work I did in those marital years -- and what am I left with today --is a major depressive disorder. It is too bad that my anger turned to absolute sadness instead of motivating me to love something of myself. Would love to hear from any of you who may have had similar problems. Thanks Again, JANA

Jana, I sounds as though you are having a rough time lately. I think it is important that you see your family doctor and let him know what is going on. There is a test on the left of your screen that will give him all the answers he needs. There is help out there for you, don't worry. All of us at the DC will be here for you as well, keep posting your thoughts and concerns. Susanne

Hi Again, My name is Jana. Thank you (the 16 year old for your answer). I had sort of found my spark, but recently had lost it. Today, I feel like my head is up in the air (anxiety) constantly. The depression/anxiety is causing me to be a compulsive eater epecially at night. I have to push myself to do nearly anything at home, although my home is relatively clean. When this goes, so do I. Would like to hear from women who have been divorced and with an empty nest (children gone to live on their own with their own life and family out of state) I am in my mid-fiftes. These past 2 weeks have been a real trial for me. Would like to hear from all and any of you. JANA

Hello, I can realte A LOT to what you are going through. Though, i am only 16, i can find who i am. I dont know what to think or do. I feel like im a stanger to myself. All i can do is be around all my friends and family. And for you, i hope you can find yourself. There has to be someone great inside of you, bring it out!!!

Hi, I hope you are feeling better. I think we may have a lot in common. I, too, divorced my husband after 20 years of marriage. Even though I NEEDED the divorce, I'm very sad that I was not able to pick up the pieces and really move on. I'm currently in a state of despair. Perhaps we can talk to each other. I canot do it now because I have to leave in 15 minutes. Would love to hear from you soon. JANA

I'm receiving treatment for both depression and agoraphobia, but I'm not getting any better. I'm dealing with a lot of major changes right now in my life, and I'm bent double with them. My husband (and safe person) left me 6 months ago. My job is a contract job, and does not have benefits with it. My husband and I declared bankruptcy before he left me. We have a disabled son (although in his 20's) and I have to figure out a way to take care of myself, and him. I have an offer to go to Hawaii, where I could find employment but my agoraphobic fears cripple me when I think of moving to an island. I'm afraid my son and I will become homeless in the state we're in. Two years ago, I thought I had everything. I good marriage (huh!) a beautiful home, and a good supporting income to my husbands. Then he left his job due to back surgeries, and depression, and then he left me. I'm starting over in life. No credit, I'm going to lose our home, I've already lost my marriage, and with battling both depression and agoraphobia I don't feel capable enough to re-enter the job market. I can't believe this is my life! This is a 25 year marriage, and a 25 year life style, that's down the tubes. I can't seem to, "reach down" and find "me". I'm scared and anxious all the time.