I have never been happy with the way I look and the way I act around people. I have always been very shy and feel large (i am 5foot4 and weigh 9stone 10). I have been with my partner for 4 years now and he is vrey understanding, but I dont know how much longer he will put up with me.
I have felt depressed on and off for a long time, but recently it became worse. I really hate myself. I feel extremely stressed and i have become very obsessive over certain things (i have very negative thoughts when my partner goes out without me and i get in a state. I have horrible thoughts about him being hurt in some way which i dont seem to be able to control and this causes us to argue as he doesnt understand). I have also started to hurt myself recently. When i get upset over tings I will scratch myself.
I did pluck up the courage to go to the doctor, but he told me that there was nothing he could do as Id been feeling this way for too long and that if i wanted help i should go and find someone to talk to (i didnt tell him everything i have said in this message as i did not feel able to). I have since changed doctors, but i dont feel able to go back and talk to anyone.
does anyone have any advice as I really dont know what to do any more. My bpyfriend is understanding and i try to talk to him, but i think it makes him feel uncomfortable as he doesnt know help me.
