Overcoming my bipolar disorder is an ongoing project. I have to be goal centered everyday. My first goal is to go to work regardless of how I feel which is very hard when I'm severely depressed or when I'm going thru a manic stage and get very little sleep. With me, any other goals I may wish to reach are secondary to that first step of showing up for work. I have not shared with my current employer that I am bipolar. I have witnessed how this company handled a previous bosses' back problem which required several surgeries and time missed from work and I decided you just don't want to get sick while you work here. They 'railroad' you out of the picture. My being promoted (or not being promoted) is an upper-level management decision. What really irritates me is the company depended on me to do the 'managers' job while the position was vacant and has me do the job while the current manager is on the road. If I can handle it in a pinch, I should be allowed to have the position permanently. When I worked my previous job while I was in management, I had to share my mental health problem because I was in and out of the hospital. I think they rated a "C" in how they handled the problem. I do understand it is difficult to have a member of management that's not 100% and not able to oversee her department. In the end, I finally quit on my own which preserved some of my dignity. I am curious as to how these mental health problems will be viewed by employers in light of the new privacy rules passed by Congress. If you go to a doctor's appointment or call in sick, the employer cannot legally ask any questions pertaining to your sickness. That will be interesting as the saga unfolds. You might tell today that I am feeling much better than earlier in the week. I find that suicide always lerks around the corner for me. But, keeping busy and setting goals does help. I'd like to hear from others with employment/mental illness problems and how they handle them.

Hi again. It seems you have indeed overcome a lot, and kudos to you for it! Being passed up for promotion is not unusual in a woman's world, nor is being underappreciated and undervalued. Are there level-playing competitions for the promotions in which you have an even chance, or is it decided by some obscure top level decision? Being bipolar must have its challenges at work for sure. Perhaps your insight can help others here. We are a fairly new site. Your experience in overcoming obstacles is something people could benefit from. Please don't hesitate to share it. For instance, do your bosses know about your depression, and how much do they know? Any wisdom to impart to people who might be contemplating telling their bosses?

I wasn't sure where to reply to you. Maybe I should have used the e-mail. I am not negative when I converse with my business associates nor at home with my husband. I might feel better if I could be a bit truthful with someone. I think my business situation is a matter of working at a corporate office of a large company and everyone is absorbed into their work. There's only a few people on my level while the others are VP's etc. I just don't enjoy being here. I am bipolar and take lots of medications everyday. I know that if I hang in there long enough my mood will change again. I have overcome quite a bit though in the past few years. I was total disabled, in and out of mental wards for several years. I decided to overcome my disorder, worked a part-time job for 2 years and finally went back to work full-time. When I got sick I was in management with a large company and I took a job in an entirely different field to be able to go back to work. I'm finally back in my field again, but just can't seem to get promoted into management. It's really tough coming to work when I'm so down. It's like I come to work without getting ready to come to work. My husband is disabled with heart disease and very obese. He's hospitalized pretty often with his heart. Honestly, my situation is pretty depressing without the added burden of my being bipolar. I don't know why I responded in this chat room. I just wanted to cry out to someone I think.

Hi, Liz. You sure do sound down. On this site, however, we know that depression is difficult, but we also know there are things that can be done. Are you in therapy and taking meds? Not everyone makes good friends with workmates. Sometimes one good friend is better than all the workmates in the world. One thing about depression is that people indulge in inner self-talk, and sometimes a lot of it is self-defeating, negative, and critical, like 'nothing is good, everything is bad and awful', etc. One thought leads into a whole conversation like that. That is the part we can work on to control. Workplaces run well when the talk is about work and not about personal stuff. (in my opinion.) Do you not have exchanges where you occasionally talk with workmates? When those negative messages find their way into verbal exchanges, it's difficult to attract people if the messages they hear are negative. People just aren't drawn to that. The messages are the end of things that you control. How about trying this out? When you talk to your acquaintances and workmates, avoid all negatives and critical remarks and see what their reaction will be? You don't have to pretend to be cheerful if you don't feel it, but you can monitor the messages you give, both body and verbal ones. We do choose what we say to people. If they are the ones indulging in negativity or criticism, you can choose to remain busy and opt out of those conversations. Downward spirals can be stopped. What kind of help are you getting?

I feel in my work place about like you describe in your previous position. I don't make friends anymore and don't have even an acquaintance at my work even though I've been here for 3 years. This is a picture of my depression and my life. I have been defeated by the Game of Life. My face is drawn and tired. My eyes have lost the luster of life Hope and enthusiam have forever escaped me. My shoulders are drawn by the weight of my'heavy load'. Self-esteem now eludes me and ego is something from long ago that only my memory can reach. It seems in playing the Game of Life I could bring myself to fold the cards and walk away. It's my fellow players that I find hard to leave behind. They don't understand and refuse to even listen To the trials and tribulations that weigh me down so. It must be that these trials and tribulations are all of my own making. It seems that pretending it isn't there for them makes the problem disappear. My mind is like an anchor on the Titanic-- The anchor may rest peacefully on the deck awaiting safe harbor - but will sink with abandon ... Never serving it's purpose to help the ship anchor safely and unwittingly only weighting the sinking ship down even more as she sinks, causing it's demise to be even a bit faster. My mind is almost seperated from my physical being... I go through the motions of living... [font=Arial]Text[/font]

Hi. Welcome to the site. You sound like a lovely caring person. I'm sorry to read of your dad's death. The loss of a parent is tough. Did you move back home for your needs? I got the impression it might have been to take care of your mother, though you didn't say that exactly. From your post, I get the impression you are jumping to some conclusions without verifying the facts. For instance, you feel you aren't absolutely needed. That may or may not be true, but since your family welcomes you and is pleased to see you when you visit, there doesn't seem to be a problem on that end, is there? There is a natural and obvious difference in activity levels between the home of a single person and that of a family's home unit. I do know that we (communities and organizations) don't thank our volunteers nearly often enough or loud enough. It's simply wonderful that you have something special to give to others and are caring enough to do it. I'm sending you a bouquet of balloons for doing that. YEA FOR YOU! Your mom may be suggesting you move near your daughter because she may think you'd be happier there, or your daughter might be happier to have you closer to her. Verify with her what you are "hearing", and as well, review the kinds of remarks you have made to her that might have fed into whatever her reasons are. Ask your mom why she suggested it. In the end, what would make you happiest? There is a difference between being needed and being appreciated. Your family may not "need" you but I'm willing to bet they're happy you're around. In my family, I was the one who moved away. When I returned, their lives didn't change and though invited over, they had their daily routines just as I had mine. As for babysitting, sometimes family members do not like to impose on relatives. I know I didn't want mine to feel obligated to curb their usual activities. Have you checked with your nieces as to the reason they don't ask you to babysit? Could second-hand smoke be a logical reason? It doesn't sound like you have cooties. (by the way, we do our best to 'de-bug' the site, grin) Some friendships are not deep ones, while others may develop further. Could you be bored? What are your outside interests? I was amazed when one day I obtai

I don't know where to turn, so this seems as good a place as any. I found this site thru the Stop Smoking Center, have taken the test - no news there - and have read the other postings. Many of the replys include "don't isolate yourself", and therein lies the problem: I feel I'm being isolated beyond my control. I live alone with a couple of pets. I moved back to my home town in the west after my father died to be near my mother and brother and sister and their families. I had lived away for more than 20 years. My grown daughter still lives on the east coast. I see my Mom a couple times a week, my sister weekly and my bother a little less. None of them come to my house, altho they seem OK when I drop in on them. If there is any "family news", I usually get it 2nd-3rd-4th hand. My nieces have never asked me to baby sit their little ones. My Mom keeps encouraging me to move nearer my daughter. What I hear is "we don't really need you here." I had a lucrative, full time job until last September. I chose to leave. The "public" reason was that I wanted to spend more time on avocations and to travel, but the "personal" reason was that I was feeling more and more uncomfortable in the company's climate and environment. There wasn't anything really wrong - I just didn't belong anymore. I have not heard a single "peep" from any of the "friends" I thought I had made there - not even a Christmas card. I'm now working at a part time job which has very little social interaction. I've done some volunteer work, but again, I show up, do my part and I feel like everyone else breathes a sigh of relief when I go. I belong to a church and have tried to participate in its activities, but again, there is no real personal "connection". I was married for 8 years and have been divorced for 20. I've had one serious relationship since my divorce that lasted for 10 years and ended 7 years ago. I've "fallen off the radar" for most of my old friends. Letters, e- mails, phone calls go unanswered. I think I'm basically a friendly, decent person. It may be hard to believe after reading this, but I DON"T spend most of my time complaining about stuff, in fact I hardly ever complain. I have