Having all this wasted worry was draining.
As I wondered why my emotions swung from intense to mild, I found there was nothing to fear.
Maybe the aches and pains in my body feed my irritability. As for this old humidifier which hisses life an old steam kettle while I try to sleep...I'd like to take it to the roof and pitch it. Unfortunately that would be unsafe, it's too cold, and I'd have to pick up the pieces.
Sometimes I use my irritability to assert myself, but I don't wish to alienate any more people.
Sometimes I feel like I'm at a dance, and everyone else is on one side of the room or the dance floor, and I'm by myself against a very long, cold wall with few prospects.
My aunt, who I placed with her handsome sons, are now on my background/screensaver of my computer. She said once that music "sweetened" the spirit(I'm transliterating, and it doesn't seem to come into English with the same meaning).
What she probably detected, was my negative energy. She was suggesting music to sweeten, make mild and calm me, and I eventually did sing a bit.
Maybe I'll take a nap.
