A chuckle once in awhile is always good for you.
I was going to tell a joke about an ashtray, but it’s just too filthy.
If you quit smoking, you’ll have a lot more “cigarette” money!
Smoker’s cough: a breath-taking experience.
Q. What did the nose say to the finger?
A. “Quit picking on me!”
Q. Why are electrons never invited to parties?
A. They’re so negative.
Q. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
A. “Between you and me, something smells.”
Q. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
A. It gets toad away.
Q. What do you call a group of berries playing instruments?
A. A jam session.
Q. How does NASA organize a party?
A. They planet.
Q. Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A. Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!
How do ghosts play the piano? They use sheet music.
Why do witches like hotels? They get broom service.
What's a black cat's favorite song? “Three Blind Mice.”
Where do baby monsters go when their parents are at work? Day-scare.
Why don't vampires eat cows? They don't like stakes.
What did the ghost say when it fell down? I got a boo-boo.
Knock, knock! Who's there? Bat. Bat who? Bat you don't know who's knocking!
Why did the ghost cross the road? He wanted to return from the other side.
Why did the skeleton put on a sweater? It was chilled to the bone.
How do little pumpkins cross the road? With the help of a crossing gourd.
How do pumpkins quit smoking? They use a pumpkin patch.
How can you spot a wealthy vampire? It has blue blood.
What do you call two witches who live together? Broommates.
Stay strong!
Quit Meter
$24,514.60
Amount Saved
Quit Meter
Days: 789 Hours: 11
Minutes: 15 Seconds: 25
Life Gained
Quit Meter
4052
Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter
89,144
Cigarettes Not Smoked
